the gift of nurture

“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason

and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change”

Thich Nhat Hanh

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“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce”

Ah, dear Thay

 

I suspect I do

 

It is good that the power that is beyond

which is in us all and binds us all together

is the gardener

 

for I suspect I tend to give up in disgust

and pull that lettuce up

and throw in on the mulch pile

 

for restoration and change takes so much work

so much time

so much understanding

so much love

 

it is easier to weed than to nurture

 

my garden is full of plants I have deemed hopeless

and I have trouble separating the flowers from the weeds

 

there they are, all around me

flaunting me

the anti-vaxxers

the people in the store without masks (in a county where the virus has exploded)

those who worship destructive people

and believe the lies

and hide behind privilege

and misuse and abuse power

 

and I blame them

I label them

Ignorant, racist, hateful, retributive

 

I have many words

and little understanding

 

I understand that there are real weeds

clinging, climbing things that choke and destroy

 

but I would do well

to take my time

to listen

to care

 

Jesus too knew that when we weed

we may do harm

 

there are things I need to know

things I need to understand

what is the fear?

where did this come from?

what is missing?

 

my anger and blaming do little good

nor does my reasoning

 

those are not what is needed

what is needed is love

compassion

listening

nurturing

 

thank you, Thay

for reminding me

that those around me are mostly desirable plants

not weeds

they may need  a little nurture

to flower and bear fruit

but they are not weeds

 

thank you for reminding me that my job is to nurture not weed

(that is someone else’s job if it is anyone’s job)

 

my job is simply to help others

grow well