In the darkness I lie
still coolness surrounds
me as awake
my eyes strain through the darkness
seeking to
remember through the haze of sleep
where I am
who I am
and then my mind
ever mindful
awakens
and a cacophony of thoughts
tumbles through my head
uncontained
and uncontainable
the past lies scattered behind me
like the litter after a rock concert
unshapely and gross
sharp edged
the future lies uncertain
and vague
and anxiety rises like bile
choking me
and leaving me weak
and so in the darkness I lie
in this moment
hugging my pillow
and straining through the
embracing blackness
for God
One Foot in yesterday and one in tomorrow leaves you ruining today."Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Mark 6 34 My mind repeats it as (sufficient is the evil unto the day) then I snicker try to let go one more time of the what ifs and why nots and listen to hear the rocks sing out because I forgot to. Normally the only rocks that sing at that early morning hour are the pack of coyotes serenading one another or the birds in the trees beckoning the sun to warm things up. I have to remember there is a God and I am not him he knows what he is doing and as soon as he is sure I won't muck things up he will let me know his next right ste for me. Just for today trust be grateful and enjoy.
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