Sometimes I want to Quit

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

― Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC

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sometimes I want to quit

just quit

stop

everything

and hide

back in the trees

deck man

sitting sipping coffee

communing with my books

and a random deer or two (or three, or)

I get so tired of the hunger

of the pain and emptiness that seems

everywhere

so many empty souls

so many starving people

snarling and snapping

grasping and tearing for the meager scraps

the world has to offer

but there is within me a deep gladness

that comes from God

there is a light in the darkness

sometimes the light flickers

sometimes

it almost goes out

but it is there a steady

faithful thing (the Sacred One is nothing if not faithful)

beating back the darkness

within

warming and filling my soul

until the gladness becomes

uncontainable

and spills forth

and I am (at least for a moment)

a lamp in the darkness

touching those around me (hopefully)

with love and compassion

and yes

joy

and it is in that moment

that I am in the place

to which

I

am

called