Invitations to be hurt

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

                                           Mahatma Gandhi

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There are many invitations to be hurt

They come from all directions

From family

And friends

Co-workers

They come without warning

Some of them are intentional

Most are accidently

Like texts sent without thought

Those emails one would rather get back

We can be ignored

Betrayed

Put down

Our intentions can be questioned

Our actions condemned

And we can be affronted, almost by the minute

(especially if we are on Facebook)

But we do not have to accept the invitation

Because while the invitation is about us,

It is also about them

And where they are coming from

It is about our mistakes, perhaps

Our flaw

But it is also about their hurts

Their perceptions

Oh, it is also about our perceptions

We see insult where there is none

Because we have our hurts and perceptions too

I have had bad things happen

I have had people act behind my back

Not in good faith

I have been lied about

I have my own insecurities about that

And my own fears which color my thinking

And make me quick to accept

I have also done things that justify rebuke

And accusation

That too makes me quick to accept

But in spite of all the complexities

I do not have to accept the invitation to be hurt

I can instead, take a deep breath,

Listen to what my brain is saying

And choose only that which moves me forward

Toward that which I care about

Toward kindness

And compassion

And peace

At last