a crowd of faults

“Lord, please restore to us the comfort of merit and demerit. Show us that there is at least something we can do. Tell us that at the end of the day there will at least be one redeeming card of our very own. Lord, if it is not too much to ask, send us to bed with a few shreds of self-respect upon which we can congratulate ourselves. But whatever you do, do not preach grace. Give us something to do, anything; but spare us the indignity of this indiscriminate acceptance.”

                             Robert Farrar Capon, Between Noon & Three: Romance, Law & the Outrage of Grace

We are a crowd of faults. But know this… There is always a road back. If we have the courage to look for it and to take it. I'm sorry. I was wrong. I don't know. I need help. These are the signposts. The cardinal directions.

                             Louise Penny, A Great Reckoning

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We hate being needy

We hate being (as we see it) weak

We are supposed to be strong

In control

Self-sufficient

Powerful (even)

Able to leap tall buildings…

Well, maybe not

But certainly able to deal with life

And the problems that come our way

On

Our

Own

But we aren’t

The true fact is

We need others

And we need the Sacred

We need help

We need forgiveness

We need grace

This is why it is so difficult to really follow Jesus

He knows us too well

This is why we hesitate to be real

Others might know us too well

So we wear masks

And say we are FINE

When we really are “fucked up, insecure, needy and emotional”

We hide behind a false veneer of righteousness

While at the same time judging and minimizing others

We lie

And horde

And hurt

We are a crowd of faults

There is a way out

But the path is marked by

Our radical need, and God’s radical acceptance

And we are left muttering, under our breath

Embarrassed, almost without a shred of self respect,

Muttering, to anyone who will listen,

“I'm sorry. I was wrong. I don't know. I need help”

God listens

And often friend do too,

And gifted by indiscriminate, foolish, scandalous acceptance

Call it grace

We find our way

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