close to God

I was in a Q&A session recently with a somewhat earnest, young seminarian whose hand popped up and said, Pastor Nadia, what do you do personally to get closer to God? And before I even realized I was saying it, I was like, what? Nothing. That sounds like a horrible idea to me.

When it comes down to it, my spirituality is most active not in meditation, but in the moments when I realize God may have gotten something beautiful done through me despite the fact that I'm an asshole.

                                                                                          Nadia Bolz-Weber

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When do I feel closest to God

It’s a good question

Do I even try to get  close to God, really

I mean seriously, the Sacred is scary stuff

Uncontrollable

Undefined

Powerful

Life changing

Irresistible

I have to admit I have never really found a “sense” of God

By reading the Bible

Ore even prayer

Although I pray all the time

I say “help” about 100 times a day

And “I’m sorry” about 100 more

I feel closest to God, when my dog gives me his lopsided grin

And when the sun comes up

I feel closest to God when suddenly

In the midst of all I am doing I stop, and realize that I have actually helped someone

It might be small, like opening a door for an older person

It might be stopping by the house of a “ranch widow” just to say “hi”

It might be when the light seems to come on in someone’s head and heart

In therapy

It might just be when I am silent, when I want to speak

Or speak when it would be easier to be silent

Getting close to God is about

Doing what is easy

Doing what is hard

Doing things intentionally

Doing things by accident

Doing things big and small

But doing them

While muttering under one’s breath

Always

Always

“help”

and

“I’m sorry”

and

“thank you”

And doing them in love