I am a cucumber

“I am calm. I’m cool. I’m a cucumber.”

 Saffron A. Kent, Medicine Man

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I am not calm

I am not cool

I am a hot mess

I once had a client say

That it was like he had 50 TV’s on in his head

Everyone on a different channel

Make that a hundred

I have what is called a busy brain

Or is that monkey brain

There are sermons to write

People to visit

Problems to solve

There are horses to be fed

(and dogs and cats and chickens too)

There are 5 acres to tend

And meals to cook

And then there is all the crap

Trump (you probably know I think he is awful)

The erosion of our democracy

The oppression of people who happen to be LGBTQI

The failure to welcome the “stranger”

The assault on the poor

And women

And……

And frankly

today

I am wrapped up in all the mess

Overwhelmed, in fact

This is one of those times I wish God was more proactive

In love God works with us from the inside out

In love God transforms us, one person at a time

In love God gives us the freedom to make our own mistakes

In love God works with us to lift us up out of the swamps of our making

In love God gifts us with the ability to have compassion, and live generously

But right now a little “smiting” would be welcomed

Except of course I know

That I deserve “smiting” as much as the next person

But when I see the damage inflicted

The loss of truth

The loss of empathy

The destruction of the planet

When I see people break down and cry

Because they feel so threatened, so vulnerable

Because they know that in the eyes of those with the power

And the money

They, as a poor person, a person with mental health issues, with addiction

They as a gay or lesbian or trasgender person

They as an immigrant

A Muslim

Have no value

And they know

They may lose their housing

Their health care

Their hope

And so I sit on a wonderful, beautiful afternoon

In a place so amazing it takes your breath away

And I am simply tired

And empty

And I long for hope

And justice

And equity

I long for love

For communion

For peace

Did I mention love?

Come Love Come