“If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may
experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction,
rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.”
― Brené
Brown
____________________________________________
Who am I, really?
There are lots of ways to define me
There are the basics
Male
White
Privileged
Educated
Well off
Aging
There are the complexities
Confident
Not confident
Stubborn
Generous
Self focused
Aware of others
Smart
Incredible stupid (in some ways)
There are the degrees that define me
BS in English and Philosophy
MDiv
MS in Mental Health Counseling
D.Min. The
“Diversity in the Church” guy
There are titles and roles
Pastor
Senior Pastor
EMT
Disaster Relief Worker
Assistant Professor in Family Medicine
Executive Director
Clinical Director
Stated Clerk
But who I am really
I am a child of God
A complex
Flawed
Struggling
Happy
Sad
Hopeful
Despairing
Tolerant
Intolerant
Child of God
I am a person trying to be what I was created to be
A carrier of the Spirit
One who seeks to be at least a little like Christ
Who as the one who was totally awake to the Spirit
Showed ultimate authenticity
Son of God
But guess what gets in the way
Fear
Because fear leaves me scrambling for safety
Fear makes me hide
Fear makes me protective
Fear makes me aggressive, at times
And arrogant at others
Fear makes me focus on myself
And forget the other
Who, after all, might threaten my safety
Might take from me what I desire
Might hurt me
Might minimize me
Fear makes me deny myself
But not in that good way Jesus talked about
Fear makes me less
And it’s not just me it impacts
Fear makes the church less
As it judges, and entrenches
As it rejects and excludes
As it gets rigid and protective
Fear makes our country less
Causes us to build walls
Causes us to turn our backs on refugees
And cage children (I just can’t get over that)
Fear causes us to accept lies
And embrace abusive power
It causes us to spend money on weapons instead of
medicine
Death instead of healing
Fear twists and distorts
Our county
The church
And it twists and distorts me
It makes us all
A mess
Depressed
Dysfunctional
Addicted
Angry
Resentful
Blaming,
Lost
There is a way out
As someone once reminded us
“Perfect love drives out fear”
God is perfect love
So the more we connect with God
Become awake to God
Are filled with God
The more we love God
Trust God
The less we fear
It really is about Trust
Do I trust God or not?
Do I trust God to save America from itself?
Do I trust God to awaken the church to its unholy
alliance with power and greed?
Do I trust God to work in my life
And make my life count?
Do I trust enough
To be broken open, and poured out
Do I trust God or not
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