reconciling confrontation

“The old endless chain of love, tolerance, indifference, aversion and disgust”

― Samuel Beckett

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At first I tried to love

After all if Jesus loves all, shouldn’t I?

But the lies continued

As did the abuse

As did the abandonment of the poor

As did the cruelty

And the Bully tactics

And the hate

But it is not Ok to judge, is it?

So I tried to be tolerant

I tried not to judge

And of course, those I challenged accused me of just that

And I bought it…

For a moment

And then it became too much

So I tried not to feel the pain when I watched children caged

When I watched freedoms take away

When I watched the poor abandoned

And then I became just a little sick in my mouth

As the lies continued, continued, continued

And as the poor were abandoned and shamed

And a protections for the poor were eroded

And the earth was assaulted

And violence was praised

And hate nurtured

And now I am just disgusted

Disgusted by the creature who feeds all of this

Disgusted by the hate

And the greed

And the cruelty

And the lies

And the cruelty

And I am disgusted that this is done in the name of one

Whose teachings are violated by all of this

And disgusted by those who

For whatever reason

Excuse all of this

Accept it

Cheer it

I am especially disgusted by those pastor

Those churches

Who buying into the way of domination

Support this evil

Or are so “careful” they allow people to support this evil

Unchallenged

I do not know what to do with this

I do not know how to respond to people who say

Rachel Held Evans is going to hell

Or those who chant “build the wall”

Or those who cheer when our President floats the idea of shooting refugees

Or those who demonized LGBTQI people

Or those who think guns are more important than children

Or those who think domination is OK

And

Servanthood is for libertards

Too strong for you?

I’m sorry

I guess that when John called people vipers they were offended too

And I guess that when Jesus said that the Pharisees and the teachers of the Law talked the talk, but didn’t walk the walk (obey everything they teach you, but don’t do as they do. After all, they say one thing and do something else).

They were offended too

Do I have the right to call others out

Probably not

I have my own stuff

My own ways where I am less that what I could be…

So Mea Culpa

Mea Maxima Culpa

But still

I struggle to know how to respond

And I know this

I cannot stay silent

I cannot abandon the poor and the vulnerable

Those who are minorities

Women

People who are LGBTQI

I cannot

And I will not

But Lord?!

Help me

To challenge in a way that leaves room for reconciliation

That does not demean

And minimize

Help me!

Please?