drop the knife

Once a young woman said to me

“Hafiz, what is the sign of someone who knows God?”

I became very quiet, and looked deep into her eyes, then replied,

“My dear, they have dropped the knife.  Someone

who knows God has dropped the cruel knife

that most so often use upon their tender self and others.”

                               Hafiz (Daniel Ladinsky, A Year with Hafiz, p. 33)

_______________________________________________............

what happens

when we open ourselves to the Sacred?

what happens when we greet the Sacred within

and enter into a love relationship

with the One who is all love?

how do we know?

How do others know that

we are in love?

when humans love each other

you can see it in their eyes

in the smile they give one another

you can see it in gentle touches

and kind acts

it is hard to hide true love

it gives itself away

when we love God

people can see it

in how we love other people

they can see it in our eyes

in our patience

in our generosity and kindness

they can see it in the way

we are no longer cruel

in the way we no longer see our selves

with judgmental eyes

no longer abuse ourselves

tormenting our selves with our failures and flaws

but instead are able to soften, to open

and receive love

and be at peace

and they can see it the fact that we no longer need

retribution

no longer need to get even

no longer need to win at the cost of others

no longer need to use and abuse

no longer need to minimize and oppress

they can see it in the way that

cruel words disappear from our lectionaries

and cruel acts disappear from our lives

it seems to me

in a world where cruelty is too often the point

where winning is everything

and where we rejoice that others have lost

that it is time to find love

it is time to find Love (God)

and it is time

to drop

the

knife

celebrating to do

“This is a day of celebration!

Today, we are divorcing the past and marrying the present.

Dance, and you will find God in every room.

Today, we are divorcing resentment

and marrying forgiveness.

Sing, and God will find you in every tune.

Today, we are divorcing indifference

and marrying love.

Drink, and play that tambourine against your thighs.

We have so much celebrating to do!”

                               Kamand Kojouri

_____________________________________

Somedays it seems,

today for example,

its seems as if the dark demons

that haunt the human soul

are winning

as if such powerful forces as

resentment

fed and nurtured

as if old patterns

of racism and bias

as if a profound indifference

rooted in essential selfishness

rule

and will determine our path forward

to a place where graft

and hate

oppression

and neglect

turn our world, our nation

even our communities

in to apocalyptic horrors

Jesus once said “the kingdom of heaven is near”

But in this moment it feels as if it has never been more distant

as if we are not traveling through the wilderness into the promised land

but leaving the promised land

and moving full speed into the wasteland

(and no, I don’t believe that by destroying the planet we hasten the kingdom…

 Jesus made it clear the we are to make things on this earth as they “are in heaven”

 Think the Lord’s Prayer.  Drop that notion or drop the prayer)

Some days,

Today for example,

it is tempting to give up

and let resentment take its course

and yet there are other forces

other than resentment

and greed

and hate

there are tools other than lies

and abusive power

subterfuge and deception

There is forgiveness

And generosity

There is active engagement in acts of love

There is truth,

And justice

There is love

And there is Love, that power, that force

Which created all

and which has

time and time and time again

brought us back to the promised land!

there is God’s new thing

So this day

Even as the world crumbles

Let us turn to Love

And turning let us hope

And let us love

And let us dance

And Drink,

and play that tambourine against our thighs.

We have so much celebrating to do!”

Spiritual Arthritis

“… when my anger goes on and on without my learning or changing anything then it is not plain anger anymore.  It has become bitterness instead.  It has become resentment, which a friend of mine calls ‘arthritis of the spirit.’  So there is another motivation for learning how to forgive – not only because we owe it to God but because we owe it to ourselves.  Because resentment deforms us.”

                                                              Barbara Brown Taylor, Gospel Medicine, p 10

______________________________________________

I wonder at times

How people get into the places they are in

Where they define others simply by negative stereotype

Where they are so quick to believe the worst?

Where they can disregard the basic humanity of the other

Disregard the fact that the person they so detest

Is a child of God

A carrier of the Sacred?

The judgments flow freely

Lazy

Druggie

Moocher

Takers

Losers

Animals

How can people look at

The person who is

Poor

Homeless

a refugee

struggling with mental illness

older

sick

and shut down their hearts

and attack

demean

minimize

marginalized

oppress

and exclude

It has something to do with resentment

It has to do with being crippled with spiritual arthritis

It is not a new ailment

Perhaps it is even a pre-existing condition

And it goes back to one’s sense

That if one does not have everything one wants

It has to be someone else’s fault

It has to be a matter of injustice

I should have a better job

I should be paid more

Women should like me

Men should adore me

My house should be nice

My car better

I should have all of this

AND I WOULD

Except for them

Resentment

It deforms us

It shrinks our hearts and shrivels our souls

It turns us in upon ourselves

It makes us small

What it steals must of all

Is our sense of gratitude

And our sense of generosity

Someone once said that suffering is the gap

Between what we have and what we want (or think we should have)

Resentment is a form of suffering

And God knows, we suffer

The antidotes?

Gratitude and generosity

Gratitude for what we have

There is always a reason for gratitude (at least I believe there is)

I remember once, lamenting the fact

That due to my own errors, my own stuff, I needed to step

Away from a job

In my head I also felt like I was stepping away from my future

From the respect of others

And then my neighbor lost a child to disease

And I was reminded of many small gifts that still remained

My own children, healthy and happy

We need to rediscover gratitude

We need to look for what is good in life

In our lives

Because gratitude leads to generosity

If I am grateful, and see my blessings, I am then freed

To give out my own abundance

(Even if that abundance is a simple as time

Or the ability to lend a helping hand)

I personally don’t want to be deformed

I don’t want to suffer with spiritual arthritis

So I am prescribing myself

Heavy doses of gratitude

Followed by the therapy of generosity

Because I have profound respect

For what resentment can do

And so I wait

“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.”

                      Friedrich Nietzsche

“I felt very still and empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in

 the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo.”

                      Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

“I accept chaos, I'm not sure whether it accepts me.”

                      Bob Dylan

“I would like to see anyone, prophet, king or God, convince a thousand cats to do the

 same thing at the same time.”

                      Neil Gaiman

____________________________________

Sometimes I am in the eye of the storm

Sometimes I am not

Sometimes, I am gone with the wind

Driven, whirled, tumbled, impelled

Helplessly carried by the urgent

the evolving

they say it is out of chaos

that amazing, wonderful newness comes

but I am not so sure

it feels at times as if I am unraveling

becoming so fragmented that the pieces may never reunite

it is partially all there is to do

sermons to write

a Presbytery to administer

people to visit

classes to teach

curriculums to revise

it is partially the storm within my brain

the fears

the memories of failure

those little bursts of PTSD that leave one sometimes shaken

and sometimes ashamed,

and sometimes hopeless

it is partially a slowing body

and a slowing brain

it is too many things forgotten

too many balls dropped

too many conflicts

too many dreams just out of reach

too many ideas I can simply not implement

I feel like I am herding a million cats

And all the cats

Are facets of myself

And so I strive and strive

And plan and plan

And hope and hope

And I look down searching for the breadcrumbs of God

To lead me forward

But the trail disappears

Into the forest of confusion

as time

and people

and politicians (who might be people but…)

and circumstances

and demands

roll in like fog

and so I stand

and breathe

and wait

and wait

I wait upon the Lord

to renew my strength

to help me soar (on wings like eagles)

run and not grow weary,

to walk and not be faint.

I wait

And hope

dealing with trauma

In response to threat and injury, animals, including humans, execute biologically based, non-conscious action patterns that prepare them to meet the threat and defend themselves. The very structure of trauma, including activation, dissociation and freezing are based on the evolution of survival behaviors. When threatened or injured, all animals draw from a "library" of possible responses. We orient, dodge, duck, stiffen, brace, retract, fight, flee, freeze, collapse, etc. All of these coordinated responses are somatically based- they are things that the body does to protect and defend itself. It is when these orienting and defending responses are overwhelmed that we see trauma.

The bodies of traumatized people portray "snapshots" of their unsuccessful attempts to defend themselves in the face of threat and injury. Trauma is a highly activated incomplete biological response to threat, frozen in time. For example, when we prepare to fight or to flee, muscles throughout our entire body are tensed in specific patterns of high energy readiness. When we are unable to complete the appropriate actions, we fail to discharge the tremendous energy generated by our survival preparations. This energy becomes fixed in specific patterns of neuromuscular readiness. The person then stays in a state of acute and then chronic arousal and dysfunction in the central nervous system. Traumatized people are not suffering from a disease in the normal sense of the word- they have become stuck in an aroused state. It is difficult if not impossible to function normally under these circumstances.”

                                                                         Peter A. Levine

“When you have a persistent sense of heartbreak and gutwrench, the physical sensations become intolerable and we will do anything to make those feelings disappear. And that is really the origin of what happens in human pathology. People take drugs to make it disappear, and they cut themselves to make it disappear, and they starve themselves to make it disappear, and they have sex with anyone who comes along to make it disappear and once you have these horrible sensations in your body, you’ll do anything to make it go away.”

                                                                        Bessel A. van der Kolk

_____________________________________________________

Lies

Corruption

The slow intentional destruction of the planet

Guns

Dead children

Arrogant leaders

Abused power

Willful ignorance

Entrenched racism

Too much fear

Too much pain

Too much hate

Too much greed

Too much

Too much

Too much

My soul feels the threats

Coming in from everywhere

And all too often it is traumatized

Injured

And I want to

dodge,

duck,

stiffen,

brace,

retract,

fight,

flee,

freeze,

collapse

I try all the common remedies

I read

Walk

Pray

Socialize

I breathe, slowly

I meditate

But still my soul is vigilant

On fire

My entire spiritual system is on alert

Chronically aroused

And I cannot rest

My heart cries out, echoing the Psalmist

Railing against the prevailing evil

I want to believe in Love

In grace

In justice and truth

But then I see “the people

At the top, ….the wicked who have it made,

Who have nothing to worry about,     not a care in the whole wide world.

Pretentious with arrogance, they wear the latest fashions in violence,

Pampered and overfed, decked out in silk bows of silliness.

They jeer, using words to kill they bully their way with words.

They’re full of hot air, loudmouths disturbing the peace.

People actually listen to them—can you believe it?

    Like thirsty puppies, they lap up their words.

What’s going on here? Is God out to lunch?

    Nobody’s tending the store.  (Psalm 73, The Message)

And I am overwhelmed

my soul is tired

frayed at the edges

and my resolve weakens

I want to slip into vindictiveness

And anger

I am tempted to prayer for God’s wrath to descend

I slide to spiritual pathology

And then

I remember

All the stories of deliverance

God with a mighty hand, bringing people out

of slavery

even a slavery of their own making

I remember

How on the night he was betrayed

Jesus took the bread

And took the cup

And said,

I will be with you always

Always

Always

I cannot dodge what is happening

I cannot make it disappear

But awake to Sacred Presence

I can engage it

I can respond to it

A different way

it is no longer a matter of

dodge,

duck,

stiffen,

brace,

retract,

fight,

flee,

freeze,

collapse

but of

compassion

welcome

kindness

openness

warmth

strength (not my own)

and Love (not my own)

When I am in touch with the Sacred within

I can discharge the tremendous energy of evil

I cannot escape the trauma

But I can heal from it,

And find my way

To hope and peace

(May the peace of God, which passes all understanding

keep our hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God, and of our Lord, Jesus Christ)  Phil. 4:7

Grace trumps Karma

“If you send out goodness from yourself, or if you share that which is happy or good within you, it will all come back to you multiplied ten thousand times. In the kingdom of love there is no competition; there is no possessiveness or control. The more love you give away, the more love you will have.”

                               John O'Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

_________________________________

Karma

the cycle of cause and effect

we reap what we sow

what goes around, comes around

I hope that karma is real

I fear that karma is real

when I hope karma is real, I’m usually thinking about someone else

hoping they will “get theirs

when I fear that karma is real, I am usually thinking about myself

worried that I will get what I deserve

it is a profound thing

this idea that what we send out returns to us

I have to admit that I doubt it is true

for we see the wicked prosper

we see liars and bullies flourish

some days I can almost taste karma

some days I hope for it

“God treat them as they deserve”

But that is dangerous territory

For if the Sacred treats other people as they deserve

God would have to treat me the way I deserve

and so I move, reluctantly (at times)

from karma to grace

it is not that do not believe

that as the days unfold

our actions, our words, do not follow us

it is not that I fail to believe

that ultimately history bends toward love and justice

(although at times that movement seems to happen soooo slowly)

It is just that I believe

profoundly in grace

in the Sacred offer of love

and new beginnings

in reconciliation and restoration

I know of course

That consequences are consequences

and even when grace is present

we sometimes pay the cost of our actions

and sometimes our words return to haunt is

but still, I believe

that we can change our trajectory

that we can chose a different destination

and that the Sacred offers and empowers this

and so, in this time

when I wish so intensely, that some would reap what they have sown

now and not later

I know

I know

that what I really wish for is grace

what is really want is transformation

an emergence from darkness into light

a recovery for hate and fear

what I really want is God’s surprise

not just an inevitable spiral into chaos and destruction

so here’s to grace

here’s to love

here’s to what God can do

with the worst of people

and the worst of situations

and

me

Choices

“As much money and life as you could want! The two things most human beings would choose above all - the trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them.”

                                J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

_______________________________

if you are to believe some politicians

we have a choice

a dire choice

between freedom and socialism

let those people on the left control

we are told

and everything you value will be gone

your wealth

your power

your health care

your freedom to practice your religion (by which they mean the freedom to impose your religion)

your safety

your supremacy

your guns

let those people on the right control and

the earth will die

the “aliens” will over run our beloved country

the poor will suffer

justice will disappear

(I will admit, I am one who aligns toward the left, and have those concerns)

I agree there is a choice to be made

There is always a choice

most religions make that very clear

but it is especially clear in the faith system that claims Jesus

we point to passages in the “older” testament

“Choose this day whom you will serve”

we point to the “newer” testament

“follow me”

(although in the newer testament the suggestion is that it is really a matter of God

choosing us, and us overwhelmed by Love, responding)

But it is true

There is no denying

There are choices to be made

But what are the choices, really?

From my perspective it would seem that the choices are between a socialism, which isn’t really socialism

(it’s a socially focused, meaning common good focused form of government found in the happiest, healthiest and most economically stable countries in the world)

and an authoritarian system which verges on fascism

it is between (from right to left)

essential selfishness and generosity

it is between fear and trust

between exclusion and inclusion

cruelty and kindness

apathy and empathy

it is between guns and children

between ethics and profit

it is between money and people

mostly lies and mostly truthfulness

it is between business and the planet

ultimately it is between

not Jesus

and Jesus

(I know this is strong language, but I feel this strongly)

I am not a fan of dualism

There is more grey than black and white

And most things are both/and rather than either/or

(and we must remember this)

but we have been pushed to this dualism by a radical pluralism

that requires a choice

but perhaps the option is not just which path we choose

perhaps another option, a more important option,

is whether we stay true to the path we have chosen

when we resist that which we cannot embrace

there, options abound

some good, some bad

We can use hate and ridicule

We can exaggerate

And name call

We can minimize and marginalize the “other”

or

we can listen, be patient, speak calmly

refuse to name call, refused to minimize or bully

we can go the way of hate, fear and enmity

or

we can overcome evil with good

our choice

finding treasure

God decided to hide the kingdom of heaven not in any of the extraordinary places that treasure hunters would be sure to check but in the last place that any of us would think to look, namely, in the ordinary circumstances of our everyday lives…. the extraordinary hidden in the ordinary, the kingdom of heaven all mixed in with the humdrum and ho-hum of our days, as easy to find as… a child’s smile when she awakes from sleep, or the first thunderstorm after a long drought – all of them signs of the kingdom of heaven clues to all the holiness hidden in the dullest of our days.  

                                                              Barbara Brown Taylor, Heaven, p.44

___________________________________

we are all at some level treasurer hunters

all seeking for those precious things that make a life

hope, for example

or meaning

or love

or Love (

call them what you will

those are the things that comprise the kingdom of heaven

the reality is

our days are littered with treasure

with Sacred gifts

today

on a day much like any other day

a day perhaps, not to look forward

a long drive home after a long week

full of meetings and airplane flights, and airports

today treasure abounded

the sunrise oozing through the clouds

a good, hot Americano

the joy of Finn (the dog) when I arrived home

eggs in the chicken coop

a welcome from “the girls” (horses)

to be sure

there were detours along the way

the usual onslaught of horrific news

construction zones

instrusive thoughts

lingering notes of fear, and anger, and regret

not to mention guilt

and perhaps a touch of despair

but still

I could not help but trip over

treasure

sunshine on the mountain

the breeze, whispering through the aspens

signs of the kingdom

on the most common of days

Let those who have ears to hear, hear

Let those who have eyes to see, see

________________________________-

Glory be to God for dappled things—

   For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;

       For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;

Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches' wings;

   Landscape plotted and pieced—fold, fallow, and plough;

       And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim.

All things counter, original, spare, strange;

   Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)

       With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;

He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:

                                     Praise Him.

Gerard Manley Hopkins

drip drip

Going to change the wording a bit from Barbara Brown Taylor’s original

The import is the same, I just changed some adjectives and the tense.

This feels very real right now!!!

[We] want a title wave of a Messiah – someone who would be impossible to miss, who would make a clean sweep of things, who would witness to the omnipotent righteousness of God.  What [we] get instead is a steady drop of mercy from a man named Jesus….  Sometimes [we] would give anything for one fireball from heaven, for one blast of raw power from a tidal wave God who would sweep [our] doubts away forever.  But this is not what [we] have.  What [we] have is a steady drop of mercy from the followers of a man named Jesus who is still playing doctor to a lot of marginal people in this world.”

                                                              Barbara Brown Taylor, Heaven, pp. 12,13

___________________________________________

The world today

Hurts me

Scares me

Angers me

What I see seems so evil, so dark

So cruel, so hateful

And frankly I want God to set it all straight

Now

Like right  now

Boom!

I want that tidal wave

That blast of raw power

But that is not how God works

At all

At all

Jesus is proof positive

The one who walked in the dust

And ate with sinners

And accepted the riff raff

And healed the marginal

Jesus who was God’s grace

Incarnate

Instead I get as steady drip of mercy

Instead I get divine patience

And forgiveness

And faltering fresh starts

And relapses

And more fresh starts

And love

And I touched by that steady drip of mercy

And I am called to be a part of that steady drip

As I listen

As I hurt for others

As I notice the pain

As I seek to respond

As I forgive

And offer fresh starts

And love

And love

And love some more

I think the world needs a raw blast of power

Instead God offers me

And you

Drip

Drip

righteousness

“… righteousness has never been a matter of following rules but of honoring relationships, with aliens as well as kin, with enemies as well as allies.”

                                         Barbara Brown Taylor, The Seeds of Heaven, p. 7

__________________________________________

What does it mean to honor relationships in these days

What does it mean for conservatives to honor those they could so easily demean and call a “snowflake”?

What does it mean for liberals to honor those conservative people 

they are tempted to call ignorant, or foolish?

What does it mean for a person to honor the humanity of a ragged family on the border

even if one believes they have not followed the “rules”?

How does a person honor another person when that person’s sexual orientation seems to violate their concept of what is acceptable to God?

For me, how do I honor people who believe that the current political reality is good and Godly, when I believe it is not good and far from Godly?

So many things can get in the way of our ability to honor

the person in front of us

race

social status

educational level

creed

ideology

nationality

gender

sexual orientation

culture

there are so many things that are barriers

so many things that twist and turn our perceptions

making connection tenuous

and difficult

and then we add in “the rules”

the things we think it important to do

or not do

those strange proscriptions and prescriptions

that define how we live

We think those rules should define how we honor our neighbors

And perhaps define who our neighbors are

But in reality our honor of neighbor should in some ways

Define how we interact with “the rules”

It is love, and respect

Our deep appreciation for the Sacred presence in all that should

Shape our worship (You shall worship)

Shape our words

Shape our behaviors

Think how often in our attempts to honor God

We diminish and demean other people

The rules may only make sense

Will only make sense

And will only work

If we honor others

If we see them, and treat them

As children of God

Precious souls

Thoughts while wandering in the South

In the heartland

the not so south south

where bourbon and racehorses reign

it is a sultry even for a walk down to the “mothership”

the headquarters of the PCUSA (Presbyterian Church)

the sidewalks are littered with renta-scooters

and littered with people

we have name for them

these people with a hand out

and a story

but honestly

the names don’t fit

they are demeaning

and deny the humanity of these precious souls

children of God

children of God

children of God

she has a story

as tears stream down her check

about too many people wandnering in an out of where she lives

and having her hair cut as she sleeps

of asking a nurse in the ER to hold her “stuff”

why she goes out for smoke

only to find it gone on her return

“I can’t get across the bridge”

“I don’t know what is going on”

He is fresh out of the penitentiary

Tall and cheerful

Riding a scooter he would love whatever I can give

He is white, with scraggly hair

“Hey boyo, how about some helping”

They are everywhere

And I am just a country boy

Fresh off the plane

Perhaps it was the gospel lesson for this week

“take up your cross”

Perhaps it was my pontificating to the congregation I serve

Let your “me” become “we”

But I empty my wallet

A dollar here, five there

Until it is gone

The stories ring true

Don’t ring true

They are cogent and scattered

Logical and fanciful

It doesn’t matter

These are people

and one cannot look them in the eye

and listen

and leave

do it to the least of these

Jesus said

Perhaps it is fitting that the national church

Sit on the edge of a river

(think waters of baptism

 Spring of living water)

Perhaps it is more fitting that

It squats amidst this sea of people

Hurting, numb

Alone, not alone

Truthful, not truthful

Black, white

Sitting

Shambling

Laughing

Crying

Talking

Silent

Children of God

When we do it to the least

We do it to Jesus

Did I get “taken”

Probably

Do I care?

Absolutely not

a new thing

“I want to feel all there is to feel, he thought. Let me feel tired, now, let me feel tired. I mustn't forget, I'm alive, I know I'm alive, I mustn't forget it tonight or tomorrow or the day after that.”

                                         Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine

_________________________________

There are days

When I feel only partly alive

Things pile up

Things go wrong

There are no wins

And pretty soon you are going through the motions

You keep getting out of bed

Keep getting dressed

You eat and go to work

And come home, and walk the dog

But this profound state of ennui prevales

Its like those summer mornings

When the smoke of distant fires

Wafts in on a gentle breeze

And the mountain is there

But just barely

Vague and unsubstantial behind the haze

Looming but gloomy

Not quite itself

Such days are difficult

You mind is the only part of you that seems energized

But in such moments?

It is not your friends

Instead it bullies you

read my mind

beautiful

and horrible things are going through it

things that honor the Sacred

things (retributive angry things) that don't

Just know

I see this world

I feel this world

I am impacted by this world

I preach to this world

and sometimes I have hope

and sometimes I don't

but I am alive

and I carry within the

in that central core where I am shaped and defined

God

I am a carrier of the Sacred

A Sacred child

And when I can remember that

Touch that

Experience that

I am renewed

Awakened

And God can do God’s “new thing”  (Isaiah 43)

This is what the Lord says—

    he who made a way through the sea,

    a path through the mighty waters,

17 who drew out the chariots and horses,

    the army and reinforcements together,

and they lay there, never to rise again,

    extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:

18 “Forget the former things;

    do not dwell on the past.

19 See, I am doing a new thing!

    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

    and streams in the wasteland.

Bully Brain

“Shut up, she tells her monkey mind. Please shut up, you picker of nits, presser of bruises, counter of losses, fearer of failures, collector of grievances future and past.”

                                                              Leni Zumas, Red Clocks

________________________________

It is play time in the jungle

Thoughts are bouncing around in my head like

Monkeys on crack

Its rumination time!

There are so many imponderables these days

The population with the highest gun ownership in America is evangelical Christians

Why is that?

Jesus said “pick up your cross and follow me”,

Not “pick up your gun and follow me”  (definitely not)

Why do so many evangelical choose to support acts of cruelty toward immigrants?

Does not the Bible say “welcome the stranger”

Why is it deemed acceptable for mega-church pastors to

own mansions and multiple jets?

Didn’t Jesus say “sell all you have and follow me?”

Why is lying and bullying now an accepted form of leadership?

Why don’t people understand that for profit medicine is evil

and we need universal health care?

Why do so many still “buy” trickle down economics?

Why did my hair turn into on giant cowlick when it turned white?

Why did my chest slip down to my belly when I hit 65?

Why can’t I do a better job of dealing with my persistent sense of failure.

Why do I find it so hard to connect with people (I do fine with cats and dogs)

Why aren’t there more hours in a day?

Why don’t I learn to say no?

I ruminate about a lot of things

Aging

My failures

My fears

I worry about whether I am doing a good job

About whether people like

About whether it matters to my children that I exist

About whether I’ve helped anyone

What I have come to realise, if I step away from my brain

and observe

is that most of the noise come from my ego

that part of me that wants power

and wealth

and respect (or better yet admiration)

that part never stops talking

that part is never satisfied

And I realize too, that much of what I don’t understand about others

About why they think, and talk, and act the way they do,

is probably all tied up in their ego to

and their hungry ghosts

and their fears

so much of our suffering comes simply

for the “me” perspective

and so much could be resolved

softened

let go

accepted

if we started from a different place

if we started from an awareness that we are soaked with God

that we are loved, and empowered

and accepted and forgiven

and that we have what we need

rather than starting from that empty gnawing place of need?

Why do I need to say “yes” and volunteer for one more thing?

Why does that person need to carry an AR-15 into a fast food joint

Perhaps the driving force behind the two is not that far apart

After all

So here is to being in the moment

To noticing the Sacred with in

And here is to doing (and being) what I care about

help my unbelief

“We cannot wait for the world to turn, for times to change that we might change with them, for the revolution to come and carry us around in its new course. We are the future. We are the revolution.”

                                                    Beatrice Bruteau

My heart shall sing of the day you bring. Let the

fires of your justice burn. Wipe away all tears, for the dawn draws near,

and the world is about to turn!

                                                   Canticle of the Turning

____________________________________________________________

In the darkness of a new day

as the sun slowly oozes into a smoke filled sky

and an early heat gives lie

to the coming fall

I sit hesitant

I recall the words of Maya Angelou

“This is a wonderful day,

  I’ve never seen this one before”

And as the gray evolves into red and orange

And the colors of the mountain

stun

I do not want to lose this momentary hope

I do not want to go onto the internet

or turn on my phone

and let the world into this space

I know the world is out there

with its violence and hate

with its greed and lies

I know that there are people in power

Who lie awake at night plotting evil

Who are committed to a destructive course

and will not turn from wrong (Psalm 35)

but for this moment

I want to rest in the creative power of the Sacred

I want to believe in the fact that it is a God soaked world

That people, all people carrying within them divine DNA

The likeness of love

I want to believe that this Love

Incarnate in Jesus

Binds us together

And moves us forward

I want to believe the divine manifests

“through the natural, physical, and human world” (Rohr, Stoner, Swanson)

I want to believe in “radical optimism” (Beatrice Bruteau)

I want to believe the words of the old hymn

“God is working His purpose out as year succeeds to year;

God is working his purpose out, and the time is drawing near;

Nearer and nearer draws the time, the time that shall surely be,

When the earth shall be filled With the glory of God

As the waters cover the sea”

But it is hard to believe, in these times

In Sacred Evolution

In the idea that God is moving us forward to a new place

Some believe this new world can only come through destruction and chaos

And so they cheer these days

I believe this new world comes through death

Indeed

But through our dying to greed

And hate

And racism

And fear

Through our dying to self

So that we can embrace that common center

we all share

that bond, that divine heritage

and thus see the value in all creation

all living things

and above all, all people

all

and live accordingly

loving in the Kingdom

I do believe

Lord help my unbelief

Help me be the revolution