a new thing

“I want to feel all there is to feel, he thought. Let me feel tired, now, let me feel tired. I mustn't forget, I'm alive, I know I'm alive, I mustn't forget it tonight or tomorrow or the day after that.”

                                         Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine

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There are days

When I feel only partly alive

Things pile up

Things go wrong

There are no wins

And pretty soon you are going through the motions

You keep getting out of bed

Keep getting dressed

You eat and go to work

And come home, and walk the dog

But this profound state of ennui prevales

Its like those summer mornings

When the smoke of distant fires

Wafts in on a gentle breeze

And the mountain is there

But just barely

Vague and unsubstantial behind the haze

Looming but gloomy

Not quite itself

Such days are difficult

You mind is the only part of you that seems energized

But in such moments?

It is not your friends

Instead it bullies you

read my mind

beautiful

and horrible things are going through it

things that honor the Sacred

things (retributive angry things) that don't

Just know

I see this world

I feel this world

I am impacted by this world

I preach to this world

and sometimes I have hope

and sometimes I don't

but I am alive

and I carry within the

in that central core where I am shaped and defined

God

I am a carrier of the Sacred

A Sacred child

And when I can remember that

Touch that

Experience that

I am renewed

Awakened

And God can do God’s “new thing”  (Isaiah 43)

This is what the Lord says—

    he who made a way through the sea,

    a path through the mighty waters,

17 who drew out the chariots and horses,

    the army and reinforcements together,

and they lay there, never to rise again,

    extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:

18 “Forget the former things;

    do not dwell on the past.

19 See, I am doing a new thing!

    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

    and streams in the wasteland.