I am a wanderer. I would say that I am a seeker, but sometimes I have no idea what I might be seeking, so I will stick with wanderer. This blog is more a public journal than anything. I don't claim to have life figured out. I simply stumble from mystery to mystery, and share my reflections along the way. Sometimes I feel burdened, and trudge. Sometimes? Well sometimes grace breaks through, and its time to dance.
Saturday, October 5, 2019
Bully Brain
“Shut up, she tells her monkey mind. Please shut up, you
picker of nits, presser of bruises, counter of losses, fearer of failures,
collector of grievances future and past.”
Leni
Zumas, Red Clocks
________________________________
It is play time in the jungle
Thoughts are bouncing around in my head like
Monkeys on crack
Its rumination time!
There are so many imponderables these days
The population with the highest gun ownership in America
is evangelical Christians
Why is that?
Jesus said “pick up your cross and follow me”,
Not “pick up your gun and follow me” (definitely not)
Why do so many evangelical choose to support acts of
cruelty toward immigrants?
Does not the Bible say “welcome the stranger”
Why is it deemed acceptable for mega-church pastors to
own mansions and multiple jets?
Didn’t Jesus say “sell all you have and follow me?”
Why is lying and bullying now an accepted form of
leadership?
Why don’t people understand that for profit medicine is
evil
and we need universal health care?
Why do so many still “buy” trickle down economics?
Why did my hair turn into on giant cowlick when it turned
white?
Why did my chest slip down to my belly when I hit 65?
Why can’t I do a better job of dealing with my persistent
sense of failure.
Why do I find it so hard to connect with people (I do
fine with cats and dogs)
Why aren’t there more hours in a day?
Why don’t I learn to say no?
I ruminate about a lot of things
Aging
My failures
My fears
I worry about whether I am doing a good job
About whether people like
About whether it matters to my children that I exist
About whether I’ve helped anyone
What I have come to realise, if I step away from my brain
and observe
is that most of the noise come from my ego
that part of me that wants power
and wealth
and respect (or better yet admiration)
that part never stops talking
that part is never satisfied
And I realize too, that much of what I don’t understand
about others
About why they think, and talk, and act the way they do,
is probably all tied up in their ego to
and their hungry ghosts
and their fears
so much of our suffering comes simply
for the “me” perspective
and so much could be resolved
softened
let go
accepted
if we started from a different place
if we started from an awareness that we are soaked with
God
that we are loved, and empowered
and accepted and forgiven
and that we have what we need
rather than starting from that empty gnawing place of
need?
Why do I need to say “yes” and volunteer for one more
thing?
Why does that person need to carry an AR-15 into a fast
food joint
Perhaps the driving force behind the two is not that far
apart
After all
So here is to being in the moment
To noticing the Sacred with in
And here is to doing (and being) what I care about
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