All will be well

“All will be well and all will be well and every kind of thing shall be well.”

                                         Julian of Norwich

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I felt a moment of disgust today

One too many stories of people embracing falsehoods

One too many stories of angry people with guns, intimidating others

One too many stories of churches choosing to endanger their people

in the name of faith

 

it was overwhelming!

 

the fear, the ignorance

the cultivated distrust

the lies

the enmity

 

it hurt to watch people foolishly imperil themselves and others

it was painful to hear the lies

and see the denial

 

ideologically altered brains are a terrible thing

 

and so I was disgusted

 

and I was sickened by my own response

at my inability to feel compassion

at my lack of tolerance

at my willingness to simply abandon these precious souls

to sickness (they are asking for it after all) and even death

 

I reached a moment when I knew

that at least for a moment, my optimism was gone

 

no, it is no going to be OK

and for all my pronouncements that “God has got this”!

it did not feel that way

 

and yet, penetrating the fog of my despair

was the optimism of Julian of Norwich

 

who though painfully aware

that we as human beings are terminally foul;

 

we rupture relationships

we take God’s name in vain (claiming God but not living God)

we hate and embrace violence

we are greedy and cruel

 

and we are sometimes stupid

oh, so stupid

 

was able to assert

All will be well and all will be well and every kind of thing shall be well

 

She had to say it three times

that holy three

three persons

three days in the tomb

 

she had to say it again and again

upping the faith in that final emphatic claim

 

and every kind of thing shall well

 

it is not that all is well

it is not that all is “in God’s plan”

 

it is simply that God is love

and God loves us

and we find that love in those very moments we are failing

 

when we have done everything we can to deny God, and deny love

and God is there anyway

and so too, love

 

in our worst moments

God’s love and mercy swiftly come

Inexorable!

And thus “It is frankly rude of us to doubt that all will be well” (Mirabai Starr)

 

Ah, dear Jesus

Come to me this day, as the clouds glower

and the rain falls

and we foolish people do foolish things

 

come to me as I plod through my day muttering

under my breath, invectives and curses

 

penetrate the fog of despair and remind me

“All will be well and all will be well and every kind of thing shall be well.”