let us grieve

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.”

                     C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

 

“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.”

                     Leo Tolstoy

 

I have outlasted all desire,

My dreams and I have grown apart;

My grief alone is left entire,

The gleamings of an empty heart.

                     Alexander Pushkin

_________________________________________________

 

we look at the numbers

and they are, for a moment just numbers

 

352,904 people dead, globally, of Covid-19

100,625 people dead, in America, of Covid-19

 

and there is a part of us that wishes, so profoundly

that they could remain just numbers

sitting there on our computer screens

void, without substance

 

but these numbers have faces

and they look at us from behind the numbers

 

hundreds of thousands of faces

black and brown and white

wrinkled and smooth

male and female,

Old and young

Rich and poor

Famous and unknown

 

These were people who dreamed and hoped

Who loved and hated

These were people who gathered around tables with family

Who made the meals, and served them

These were people who waited tables

worked in Emergency rooms

taught children

 

People who made music

Wrote poetry

And painted pictures

 

These were people who held someone close

in the darkness of night

or played in the sun with grandchildren

 

these were people who had dogs and cats

 

these were people

and they are gone

 

and they have left behind them people who grieve

lovers, children, parents, friends

fellow workers

neighbors

 

people who loved them, and now will no longer see their face

hear their voice

feel their hugs

 

so this is a time for grieving

this is a time to mourn

 

we cannot simply ignore this carnage

these lives, lost

this hurt

 

only one who cannot love

who has no empathy can fail to grieve

 

and yet, we seem to have lost our sense of corporate grief

that grief that overwhelmed us, and then turned to anger on 9/11

(and thus sadly twisted became damaging)

 

Here we sit, with over 100,000 faces peering at us from beyond the veil

With 100,000s of thousands more grieving that specific person they have lost

 

And we complain about wearing masks

And argue about “personal freedom”

And crowd into pools, and flock to beaches

And party

And golf

 

And act as if nothing had happened

As if those people had never existed, and never died

 

When did we lose our sense of community?

Our understanding that each person is an infinitely precious soul?

And that we are all connected?

 

When did we get so encapsulated that if the pain is not our pain

Personally, immediately,

It is not pain, and can be ignored?

 

Set aside?

 

Perhaps we need to set aside some time for mourning

For lamentation

Perhaps each day, we ought to stop for a moment

And look at those numbers, and see those faces,

And see the faces behind the faces

The lives and relationships behind those faces

 

There is so much to grieve about

That “death by cop”

That latest act of aggression, racism, misogyny

The latest proof that our planet is dying

The most recent evidence of corporate greed

 

Perhaps we should stop and feel the loss

Of life

Of “normalcy” (whatever that is)

Of jobs, and businesses, and dream

Of corporate worship

 

A grieve

Grief is hard

It is the price we pay for love

Being willing to grieve is what opens the doors of our hearts so we can

Walk through each day, connected to God

And connected to others

 

If we can’t grieve, we can’t love

If we can’t love, we can’t have community

 

Without grief we become entombed and isolated

Ciphers

Without grief we lose our humanity

 

So let us grieve