patterns, patterns

If anger is coming up, you become aware of your anger.  If fear is coming up, you become aware of your fear.  You are always there for yourself.  “Good morning my little anger, I know you are there.  I will take good care of you.” “Good afternoon, my fear, you just manifested.  I know you are always there, you are my old friend, I will take time to care for you.”

                     Thich Nhat Hanh

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Sometimes I am surprised by joy!

all of a sudden, without warning

my heart sings

 

it might be a glimpse of the mountain on a clear day

or the first crocus of spring

or a cat sleeping in the way that only cats can sleep

 

but there it is!

Joy

 

but I can be surprised by other things too

by insecurity

anxiety

fear

anger

 

I don’t know why I am surprised

because the reality is

we are all creatures of habit

 

we have our patterns

mental and emotional

 

that stuff that comes up?!

it has been coming up our whole lives

and our responses?

those too!

 

we know where we want to go

we know who we want to be

we try

oh we try

 

but then suddenly

stuff comes up!

 

I’m not enough

I can’t do this!

I am going to be rejected

I am not valued

“They are going to control me”

 

Fear comes up

Anger too

Maybe even hate

 

and that stuff that comes up pushes us into patterned

responses that allow us to hide

to avoid

those things that make us uncomfortable

 

we might isolate

we might drink

we might carry a gun

we might shut down

 

but too often our attempts to avoid our pain

lead us only into more pain

as anger begets anger, and hate, hate

and violence, violence.

 

we have to welcome

(in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy we say “accept”)

the stuff that comes up

 

Thay has it right

“Welcome my dear little fear

Let me take care of you

Let’s talk, about where you come from,

Let me accept your presence,

Let me shape my response to you.

 

You get to come here for a moment and say hi,

But you don’t get to lounge on the couch

and you don’t get to redecorate my mind and soul.

Sorry!  It was a nice visit, but, goodbye”

 

When we greet those things within

when we address them, enter into them, accept them

we can calm them, transform them

let go of them

 

having greeted

we can also say goodbye

 

the fact is we are not trapped by our old patterns

we can see them, face them

address them

and then let them go

 

moving on to new patterns that allow us to do what we want to do

and be who we want to be

 

when we take the time to deal with all that is going on within

we do not have to invade a country,

storm on a stage and slap another,

abuse a spouse,

take that next drink,

or hide from life.

 

instead, we can be transformed by the renewing of our minds

and be surprised by joy