the soul keeps score

it has been said that the body keeps score

that if we go through life

carrying our pain and stress

 

eventually, it will all show up

in our body

somewhere, somehow

 

but I think the soul keeps score too

when we carry pain

it takes a toll

 

emotional, mental, and spiritual pain is always with us

we cannot avoid it

and be human

 

we want to avoid it!

our natural inclination is to move away from pain

 

to suppress it

 

maybe if we pretend it isn’t there it will go away!

it doesn’t

maybe if we medicate it we will feel better

we don’t

 

pain has a way of hanging around

building up

 

our moves away from pain

often bring us more pain

 

we trap our pain

we multiply it

it traps us

it wears us down

 

it defines us

and then it defines the way we live

 

it has been said that if we do not transform our pain

we transfer it

 

we pass it on

 

to children

to spouses

to friends

 

this week I have sat with pain

my own

and others

 

and I have felt the impact of pain

I have seen the impact of pain

 

and I know this

pain must be accepted

 

we must look at it in the face

we must hold it, gently

we must touch it with compassion, and forgiveness

and yes, love

 

we must allow ourselves to hurt

for ourselves

for others

 

we must hand our pain over

to a God who understands pain

and will suffer with us

and walk with us

and restore our souls

 

the pain will not go away

but it will no longer control us and determine us

it will still be a part of our lives

but only a part, not the whole

 

we will still carry a lot (too much) crap

but we will travel lighter

 

and there will be room in our baggage

for a little love,

a little hope

and a little peace

 

and we will have a chance

having accepted pain

and released pain

and handed over pain to Love

to do what we want to do

and be who we want to be

 

and love

how we want to love