Transitional Space

Once upon a time

A pediatrician (Donald Winnicott)

talked about transitional spaces

 

I don’t claim to understand his theory completely

but I love the term

 

it is about development (in my feeble brain)

about change

about, I hope, growth and progress

 

I would like to think a transitional space is

perhaps akin to Henri Nouwen’s “free and friendly space”

that safe place where

“a stranger can come in and cast off his or her strangeness “  (Reaching Out, 1975)

 

but I think, in reality

transitional spaces take many forms

 

any experience that touches us and moves us

can be such a space

 

anything that makes us think or feel

that makes us examine and reflect

 

being loved can create such a space

a nurturing family can be such a space

so can friendship!

or, in some cases, counseling

ideally, our faith communities create a transitional space

 

but perhaps it is not all sweetness and light!

 

war can be, perhaps, such a space

both for those who are caught up in its violence

and for those who observe it from afar

 

the people of Ukraine are forever changed

by the violence they are enduring

by the sights of Bucha and Mariupol

so, at some level, are we

 

could it be that our lives in the shadow of authoritarianism

will forever change us?

will the survivors of school shootings ever be the same?

 

transitional spaces can be dark and dangerous

as well as warm and friendly

 

and perhaps the transition can be one

where we become more human,

kinder, more generous, more compassionate

 

or one where we become harder, colder

more closed

 

sometimes we become more our true self

imago deo

sometimes, perhaps we retreat more into a false self

 

what makes the difference?

 

I do think the difference is love

Jacqui Lewis’s phrase, “fierce love” comes to mind

 

I believe there is a love that can determine

which way we move

every time we end up open and vulnerable

no matter what kind of force it is that

cracks our veneer 

 

the fierce, unyielding, unending, uncompromising

unconditional love that is all things Sacred

 

if we (if I) can remember that love

if I can remember that one (Jesus) who lived such love

if I can accept that love

that crucified love

perhaps

 

my transitions will not be

transitions into fear, and bitterness, and hate

but into growth

and compassion

and yes

 

love

not love as a feeling (can I ever love Putin?)

but love as an verb

as a way of life

 

love displayed

in my attitudes

my words

my actions

 

______________________

 

I know this may seem like an unrealistic

way of thinking

but as I read the story of Jesus

I believe I am reading a transitional story

that should shape our stories and our transitions

 

the radicality of the Gospel

is compelling

crazy

unrealistic

and yet

 

I believe

real