I am a wanderer. I would say that I am a seeker, but sometimes I have no idea what I might be seeking, so I will stick with wanderer. This blog is more a public journal than anything. I don't claim to have life figured out. I simply stumble from mystery to mystery, and share my reflections along the way. Sometimes I feel burdened, and trudge. Sometimes? Well sometimes grace breaks through, and its time to dance.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Remembering My Mom
Life kind of God in the way,
my mother, who died in 1990, would have been 92
She was beautiful
small (around 5')
and amazing
a true force of nature
On this day
of all days
I remember you
a mighty force
in a small package
you created a universe for our family
that was ordered, and safe, and calm
every closet, every drawer
every room in our house was organized
neat, clean
logical
and yet,
also warm
you had a knack for putting things together
in way way that created
beauty
and calmness
and within that order was creativity
no one decorated for the holidays the way you did
no one baked cookies the way you did
your Christmas boxes were amazing
perhaps even magical
you loved music
and art
and adventure
there were times when you drove me crazy
when you pressed my jeans
and ironed my underware
picked out my clothes
and made me practice the piano
I had to make my bed every day! Imagine!
And every toy had to go back from exactly where it came.
there were times I wished you were more talkative
you really didn't like to share did you?
but you did give
by giving your time
your energy
for your children
for other children (two girls scout troops? Really?)
for the community (as I remember the first Citizen of the Year that was a woman)
You cleaned
and cooked, wow did you cook
We never had a bad meal
You planned parties
and vacations
you made Dad's life smooth
and my life smooth too
You were generous and compassionate at heart
forgiving
I often thought i was getting away with things
I wasn't. You knew it all.
But if you didn't think it was important, you pretended you didn't know
until it didn't matter
From you I get
that drive
that energy
my love of music
my love of books
from you I get my quietness
and perhaps my difficulty in sharing myself with others
from you I got
so much
and I want you to know
that you are loved
and missed
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