Mercy Mercy

I once saw God’s mercy as patient, benevolent tolerance, a kind of grudging forgiveness.  But now mercy has become for me God’s very self-understanding, a loving allowing, a willing breaking of the rules by the One who made the rules – a wink and a smile, a firm and joyful taking of our hand while we clutch at our sins and gaze at God in desire and disbelief…. A live time of received forgiveness allows you to become mercy.

                                                                                                Richard Rohr – Jesus Plan for a New World

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I have come to learn,

O Sacred One,

that I have little respect for the depth of your mercy,

for the nature of mercy

I simply do not grasp,

cannot grasp,

the idea that you look at me

through the eyes of a over the top

soccer mom,

through the eyes of a dad whose child can do no wrong

oh yes,

I know you that not blind

to the things I do wrong,

the mistakes,

and you want to gently help me do better “next time”

but nothing

nothing

fundamentally changes the way you see me

I am your beloved child

Help me lord, not to clutch at my sins

help me not to hug them to myself

and clothe myself in them

help me not to allow them to define me

but help me accept mercy

so that I can give

mercy

if I think I have to earn your love

that you are one to be “pleased”

then I will be a person

not of mercy

but of judgment

I will say to myself

“I have worked hard for God’s love”

(Oh, no, we would never say that, we would talk grace)

and THAT person, well, just look at them!”

I will see you as terrible and stern

Judging, Hard, Angry, Punishing

and I will be all too willing

to be angry, and judging, and angry myself

so help me accept your mercy O Lover of my Soul

let me wallow in your love

let me bathe myself in forgiveness and acceptance

that I might become more like You

MERCY