Primitive religion is not believed, it is danced!

Arthur Darby Nock

Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
And only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

Elizabeth Browning

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Thank you, from the heart

it is funny how serious illnesss can impact you
I was raised by lovely parents

wonderful in so many ways

but I learned, whether the lesson was intended or not
that you are measured by what you accomplish
and there is tremendous value in being strong
In being the one who is in control

and so I grew up
inside an image

I'm not a bad person
I hurt
I get lonely
I want friends
I want to hang with another guy and watch football
i want my great nieces and nephews to smile when they think of uncle  Steve 

I want the affection of my nieces and nephews as well

but always I have always been protective
hidden behind layers of competence
and busy-ness

and then I spend a week helpless
unable to walk
and lovely people stopped by to say hello
and say
"we care"
"we love you"

fellow workers (thank you Chantay and Stephanie, Paul, Trilby, and those who actually seemed glad to see me when I wandered back into the office.

Facebook friends reached out with prayers and love

and this very strong, competent, "I can do it myself" person
found himself a bit teary
and very touched

and very open
much more open at the heart level
than I have ever been

It may not make me a better boss, although I suspect it will
or a better therapist (if I was ever any good to begin with)
It will make me a better husband and father
and uncle... and brother
it will make me a much better minister
I will be more real

I am not sure this is all over
but I do know this
whatever ill wind blew my way
the Sacred was able to use for good

thank you my friends
time to go find some kleenex

1 comment:

  1. Get one for me too... Kleenex that is. You've always been a good friend. Hugs and love to you.