Open Hearts

“Until we can receive with an open heart, we're never really giving with an open heart.

When we attach judgment to receiving help,

we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.”

                             Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

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Where does it come from,

This need to shame the poor?

This need to attach conditions to compassion

To acceptance,

Even to food, and housing, and healthcare?

Why would I not want my neighbor to have what he or she needs to survive?

Why would I not want their children to be healthy and happy?

Even my cat and my dog

Can be generous during “chicken time”

Sitting together, taking turns getting scraps

During the sandwich making hour

I think in part it is because they know they have enough

And there will always be enough

Enough chicken

Enough love

Enough pets

They both wallow in affection

The both get it, and therefor

They can both allow the other to receive it as well

So what is behind our unique human tendency

to be so grudging when it comes to giving?

Why do we put so many requirements on help?

Why do we create pre-requisites for compassion?

Is it because at some place deep down in our souls

We are afraid?

Afraid that we don’t have enough?  Won’t have enough?

Or is it because we ourselves have been taught that only the weak and flawed need help?

That people need who help are ‘less’, ‘unworthy’, “lazy moochers’?

Functionally no longer “people” but objects of scorn

And that we somehow deserve what we have, and “they” do not?

And how is it that some of those least capable of giving

are those with the most power, the most wealth, the most privilege?

And are those entrust with the care of a nation, or care of souls?

We are a curious lot

We humans

I suspect that this is an inconvenient truth

If we don’t know how to receive, we don’t know how to give

And the one who has never felt the need to receive

Perhaps, because of privilege and affluence has never felt need,

May simply be damaged, paradoxically by privilege

When it comes to generosity

And the one who has been told they have to earn love

By parents who gave merit based affection

Or by a church that put conditions on God’s love

Simply cannot get their heads and hearts around grace.

No wonder we are such a mess

Since it may true

That we have entrusted the functional delivery of compassion and justice

To those very people least qualified to offer it?

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Lord, help us learn of our need to receive

Help us to learn how to receive

Help us to open our hearts to gifts offered

That we might eventually

Also give

With an open heart