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Primitive religion is not believed, it is danced!

Arthur Darby Nock

Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
And only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

Elizabeth Browning



Thursday, July 4, 2019

God laughs


“Man makes plans . . . and God laughs.”
 Michael Chabon
_______________________________________________

Life is fun that way
Every time I think I have everything set up
Just so

Every time it feels as if this stable genius
Has managed to put things together
Just so

And success is just around the corner
And a little peace too
And sense that finally
Finally
Finally

Things will turn out
Just the way I planned

Something happens

16 years ago I took over a program
After months of worrying
There it was, the perfect job

And two months in, I discovered he program was hundreds
Of thousands
Of dollars in the hole
For the year

An then a 20% cut in state funding landed

And every year after that
Every year
Not matter how we planned
Something happened

It has been that way most of my life
I was going to be a doctor
Chemistry happened

I was a rising star in the church
My own stupidity happened

I was going to turn my little church around
Time constraints
People moving, and people dying happened

I have come to realize
Thank the second I think I can coast, at least for a moment
Something happens

Is it my own idealism?
My own naiveté?
My own intensity?  The fact that I am opinionated? (just a little J )
Do I over estimate my ability?
Am I just such a lone wolf, that I simply can’t draw people around me
in a meaningful way?

Or is it merely that I try too hard
And get too thin
And too tired

And perhaps the real need is to slow down
Ease up
Maybe I need to rely on others more
(although when I do, those people seem to disappear, one way or another)

I do know it is all a mystery

It is not that I don’t accomplish anything
I do
I have
I can look back, and over all
Feel pretty good about my life

But right now
I would like to feel
Like I am doing the best I can
And people are finding health
And hope

Right now,
I could use
A
Win

But for the moment, I will simply grab hold of that truth
That has in fact
Always proved true

All things work together for good
When one is connected to God

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