The Gift of Being Wrong

Hello to the gift of being wrong

Hello to repentance

Hello to change

                     Padraig O’ Tuama

__________________________________

 

If you have not noticed it yet

we live in a polarized world

 

the world has always been polarized

but the spectrum, or so it seems to me,

used to be shorter

 

the gap has widened

 

or if the gap has not widened

perhaps we were, at one time, clustered more tightly around the center

 

we felt, whether it was true or not

a sense of community, of nation

 

indeed if we are honest, that sense of community was not true

for there were the excluded, the minimized, the marginalized

can we say their names?

the black person

the LGBTQI person

the immigrant

the person with mental illness

the poor person

the addicted person

the list goes on and on an on

 

but till, the fabric of community was tighter knit

and we were close enough to on another to sometimes talk

and sometimes join hands, and work together

to solve ills

 

but now we are radically divided

the spectrum has unrolled to its greater length

and we are clustered on the poles

so far apart we cannot speak but can only shout

entrenched in our own rightness

ears closed

mouths open

 

all of us

those on the right, those on the left

 

and all of this in part

is because we have lost the gift of being wrong

we will not be wrong

we cannot be wrong

 

it’s a sign of weakness

so we cannot entertain the possibility

so open mouth

closed soul

 

and our families

our churches

our communities

our country

our world

are unraveling

 

for we are pulling on the ends of the threads

that hold us together

and tearing the fabric apart

 

one harsh word

one insult

one cruelty

at a time

 

what we need is reconciliation

and reconciliation is hard word

it involves listening

it involves shutting our mouths, and opening our hearts

it involves honesty, and more than a little pain

but mostly

 

it involves being willing to sit with the fact that we not only might be wrong

but have been wrong

 

hello to the gift of wrongness

 

O’ Tuama tells of a time a fundamentalist Christian (that is how the man identified himself) met with people from the LGBTQI community.

 

The goal of the retreat was to build community, or if not community, at least understanding.

 

The man, at one point asked a risky question

“How many times, since we first started this meeting, have my words bruised you?”

 

One person, bravely answered,  “I quit counting after the first hour”

Ouch

 

“I have learned something, thank you” was the man’s reply

 

How many times do we, all wrapped up in our own perceptions, our own belief,

Bruise others

 

With our words?

Our actions?

 

It is a terrifying question for me, as a person with strong beliefs

And strong opinions

And a big mouth (metaphorically speaking)

 

I have started to think about things I have said!

Hello to being wrong

I have started to think about the people who have been bruised by my words

Hello to repentance

 

I am trying to “do life a different way”

Hello to change

 

I will not always succeed

My feelings and thoughts, my behaviors too, are habits

And it takes time, and a lot of work, to break habits

 

But this is what my faith is all about

Honesty, with self, to God, with others

Humility, being able to stop, breathe, and think, and entertain the thought

I might be wrong

Hope, that with God’s help I can truly change my mind, my heart, and my actions

 

and help build

and perhaps in places, rebuild

the beloved community

 

where all are heard

all are welcomed

all are safe

all are valued

all are loved