the hostile identity

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Once upon a time

In a country not that far away

A prophet came

Perhaps more than a prophet

Perhaps a God carrier

Perhaps Emmanuel, God with us

 

He came to a people

Who saw themselves as “God’s people”

Separate from others

From those unclean

 

It’s God and us against the world

And he promoted a new way

Yes, a way of change

 

A way in which one is washed clean

In the waters of repentance

 

He asked people to rethink everything

Including their hostility to the other

Their sense of separateness

 

He asked them to shift the way they treated those

Who were “not them” but were “other”

Not with hostility or resistance

But with kindness, generosity, empathy, and love (Luke 3)

 

This One helped people become new creations

And created a new way

A way of welcome, inclusion, and healing

 

And a tattered lot of misfits followed Him

And then

Those following him became “the church”

 

Which sadly,

instead of transforming the world, conformed with the world

and reclaimed the old formula

 

We are God’s people

God is hostile toward all who are not “us”

It is God and us against the world

 

And so our faith became marked by hostility

By confrontation

And exclusion

 

And hostility became hate

Hate led to many forms of violence

Spiritual

Emotional

Spiritual

 

This is not new

This is not the way of Jesus

 

This is exactly what Jesus has asked us to leave behind

The old way of separateness

And privilege

The old way of “us” and “them

 

Jesus calls us to solidarity

And reconciliation

To welcome and kindness

To generosity

 

We cannot baptize hate and bias

We cannot embrace control and coercion

Retribution and punishment

 

We must move instead from an oppositional identity (Brian McLaren)

To a benevolent, compassionate identity

 

Where we see ourselves not as different but as the same

Not as above but as equal

Not as separate, but as with

Not as against, but as “for”

 

This is not weakness

This is not compromise

This is difficult

So difficult that so very few have done it!

 

I want to have a compassionate identity

I don’t want to be the kind of follower

who is hostile

who sees others as enemies

who feels a need to dominate and control

 

I don’t want to embrace hate and violence

The way of lies and manipulation

And pretend it is the way of Jesus

 

I don’t want, in insecurity and fear

to hide behind hate

and pretend it is righteousness

 

I just want to follow

the way of fierce love

I want to follow Jesus

Today I go Down

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John [the Baptist] defines the essential meaning [of Baptism] himself: he proclaims not a baptism of conformity, but a baptism of repentance, which means the radical, far-reaching rethinking of everything.

              Brian McLaren

_______________________________________________

 

It lies in front of me.

Not sparkling nor clean, but muddied

By the chaos of dirty human bodies

Wading into its murky depths,

By the filth of dirty feet and soiled souls

 

He stands

This prophet, crying “Prepare”

Prepare the way for the Lord

 

And he calls me into the water.

 

Down I go

Down into that brown gloomy river

Down until I am completely buried

Like a body in a tomb

 

Down, breathless, and sightless

Until I burst forth

Into the bright hot sun

 

I have been called to leave everything behind

My old identity

My old ideologies

My old comforts and my old distresses

My successes and my failures

My privilege, pride, and ego

 

It is like a new birth.

The end of so much, the beginning of so much more

 

It is not easy to leave behind

Those things we have fused to, those identities we have crafted

Who makes us who we are?

 

It is painful to leave privilege behind

And safety

And power

 

But all those must remain, there in that watery grave

Or we cannot rise

 

For this new birth is radical

It is a reversal of everything.

 

What was good becomes bad,

What was sketchy and unacceptable becomes good

 

It is good to be poor

Good to be meek

Good to be humble, and kind

Good to serve others

Good to suffer, perchance to die

 

It is not that I am called to embrace a new identity

As much as to lay down all the old identities that have always defined me

White

Professional

Democrat, Liberal, American

Winner (and loser too)

 

The good the bad the ugly

It all must be washed off as I immerse myself in Christ

Living now inside Christ

Looking with his eyes,

Feeling with his heart

 

For it is as I die to my old identities

That I am freed (now being “in” Christ)

To rise with Christ

 

A ferocious death giving birth

To fierce love

And the possibility of restoration, reconciliation

And a new life

Fundamentalism

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I want to be a fundamentalist

Oh, don’t get me wrong

I don’t want to be a doctrinal fundamentalist

I don’t to be someone who cannot look beyond the words on paper fundamentalist.

 

I want to be a lifestyle fundamentalist  

A person who imitates Jesus

 

It is not an original idea.

Francis of Assisi, Thomas a‘ Kempis

Had it long before me

 

I should have figured it out long ago

When Jesus said “Come and follow me”

He really meant it

 

When he said “I am the way”

He really meant it.

 

Be like me

This is the way to live.

 

But it is so hard

I mean all that stuff about

Selling all I have and giving it to the poor

(shouldn’t they work harder?)

Welcoming the stranger

(aren’t they dangerous, and coming to steal what is mine?)

Praying for those who persecute me

(they aren’t praying for me, at least not praying good things for me)

 

All that stuff about

Turning the other check

(I need that gun to protect myself)

Feeding the hungry, clothing the naked

(there just isn’t enough to go around, right?)

 

I have my excuses

Why following is dangerous, foolish, ineffective

I mean sure Jesus said all that

But that seems too weak and naïve for a world like this!!

 

But Sacred Love is not interested in my excuses

Yes, the cross is an ending for a fool

Yes, this way is dangerous

And costly

And illogical, going against everything my culture has taught me

About success, winning, safety, and privilege

 

But fundamentally

It is the way

 

And if I ignore it

If we all ignore it

 

Well, we see how that works.

As suffering immigrants are demonized and deported

And the poor are neglected

And children are shot at school

And the rich just get richer

And candidates appeal to us using hate

 

So fundamentally Jesus

I want to be yours

And I want to follow you

And walk your way

 

And I will suck at it!

And I will stumble, maybe even fall.

 

But I pray, Jesus, that I can persist

And be your person,

fundamentally

Flood the Zone with good

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One of the strategies of authoritarians is to “flood the zone” with endless performative stunts, fabrications and lies, and ever-upped incendiary rhetoric to exhaust people. This is done so that we — regular citizens who are busy attending to our own lives — stop paying attention to current events, tune out, and then either don’t vote or waste our votes. And, of course, those same leaders want us to be quiet, to not speak truth in the public square or even to each other.

Last week, I was at an event at Georgetown University, hosted by my friend Jim Wallis, called the Test of Democracy. It was a good event with GREAT people who are giving their all to rise to this political moment. In effect, they are trying to “flood the zone” with goodness, truth, and genuine hope to counter the noise of the authoritarian nationalists…

 

When his weary, anxious friends asked him about the end of the age, Jesus told them not to be alarmed but to be ready. He wanted them to pay attention and look past their fears to see the intimations of the kingdom of God’s justice and love just beyond the horizon.  What does it mean not to be alarmed but to be ready in these treacherous advent days? I think it means finding friends, listening to the right voices, and continuing in faith, hope, and love.

 

That’s why many good people are standing up and speaking out.

 

Please don’t ignore everything that comes your way. I know there are so many essays and articles and podcasts about faith and politics right now. Every day, there are worthy causes and worthy candidates asking for money and resources in your email. It is hard to keep up. Hard to pay attention. The temptation is to stop paying attention. To the annoying things. And then to everything. It would be easier to hole up and hide for the next forty days. Because you are probably exhausted. That’s what the authoritarians want.

 

Look for and listen to those who are flooding the zone with goodness. Stay focused on caring for one another, encouraging each other, and strengthening courage in community. We can all make this advent journey together.

              Diana Butler Bass

_________________________________

 

Storm warning!

The warning is clear.

Bad times are coming!

 

Prepare to be deluged.

Swamped

Overwhelmed

Drowned

 

They are coming for your jobs

They are eating dogs and cats

They are evil and violent

They are killing babies

They are Marxists

 

These are the worst times, times like no one has ever seen before

America is a $h!th*!@ country

We are a failing nation. We are a nation that is hostile to liberty, freedom, and faith.

We are a nation whose economy has collapsed …

whose stores are not stocked,

whose deliveries are not coming,

and whose educational system is at the very bottom of every list

 

It rains and it pours

The words flow from the mouths of those who would stoke fear

And intimidate

The hate rises like a flood

And we can barely stand and barely breathe

 

“Long as I remember the rain been comin' down

Clouds of mystery pourin' confusion on the ground

Good men through the ages tryin' to find the sun

And I wonder, still I wonder, who'll stop the rain?”  (John Fogarty)

 

Who indeed?

We are weary!

And we tire of trying to stop the rain

 

Yet we are called to stand

To be alert

 

We are called to “flood the zone” with goodness, truth, and genuine hope

To look past our fears to see the intimations of the kingdom of God’s justice

and love

just beyond the horizon. 

 

We believe in the sun

We believe in the light

More, we carry the light

 

And we are called to shine

caring for one another,

encouraging each other

finding strength and courage

being a community of hope

that cannot be overcome

by the darkness

Taking back the faith

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I woke up thinking about the cross

I wear one

Small and worn

Purchased in an ancient cathedral on a rainy English day

 

We preach “Christ crucified”

“Pick up your cross and follow me”

 

How did they feel, those early followers

Who had seen the beloved die

Leaving behind bile and bloodstains

How did they feel about the cross

 

It was an instrument of terror.

A tool of tyrants

Used to intimidate, punish, and control

 

No wonder they used a fish

As a symbol of faith

“Be ye fisherpeople,” drawing people to God’s love

 

But then came the unlovely cross

Which shouted love and sacrifice

A giving up

A dying

 

And then the cross was transformed.

As the church was transform

From motley clusters of people preaching love

Relegated to the fringe

Out

To an instrument of the state

 

And slowly the cross too

Became a symbol once again of empire

A tool of the powerful

To intimidate, control, and punish

An instrument of terror

 

It was emblazoned on shields.

Carried by intense zealots in front of armies

Burned on lawns

Crusaders, conquistadors, and clansmen

Appropriating it

Jesus wanted to transform the world

More than conquer it

To fill it with love and peace

Lion and lamb, child and adder

 

But here we are

Crosses draped in flags

Adorning massive pickups

Showing up where hate is preached

And empire

 

Poor cross

 

My faith is not weak, or soft

I believe in the power of Sacred

And the power of love

And in the power of letting go, and giving

 

I believe that when Jesus said “Take up your cross and follow”

He was talking about expending one’s self for others

Giving one’s all for love

 

Even if that means selling all one has and giving it

To Haitian refugees in Ohio

Or that woman hugging her child on the border to Mexico

 

Even if that means turning the other cheek

 

I want the cross to remind me that “blessed are the meek”

And that justice and equity are more important than coercive power

And that people are more important than money

And that my faith is never, ever, ever to become a tool

Of empire

 

I want the cross back.

Drinking Poison

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Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.

          Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

 

Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.

          Anne Lamott

 

Nursing a grudge only perpetuates the offender’s power over you. He continues to live in your head, reinforcing your frustration, polluting your imagination with thoughts of getting even. Don’t let him get away with that. He may or may not deserve forgiveness, but you deserve better than to waste your energy being angry at him. Letting go is the best revenge. Forgiveness is the identifying marker of the stronger party to the dispute. It is truly a favor you do yourself, not an undeserved gesture to the person who hurt you. Be kind to yourself and forgive.”

          Harold S. Kushner, Nine Essential Things I've Learned About Life

___________________________

 

It is that day

that day when we remember

the planes plowing into the towers

the destruction, chaos, and death

 

Especially death

We remember those who died

Too painfully

Too early

 

We cherish their lives and lament their lost

As we should

 

Moments like this are for learning

as they rip open our souls and our hearts

and challenge our minds

 

What can we learn about those who perpetrated such violence?

What can we learn about ourselves, and our contribution to this event?

What too can we learn from our response to this event?

 

What do we do when we return to this day?

 

It hit me hard, this day

As I watched the event on TV monitors in an airport

Preparing to board a plane to Washington DC (and then on to Azerbaijan)

A plane that never left

 

It made me angry

Pain tore through my heart as I thought of the people on those planes

And in those buildings

And thought of all the people who lost someone they loved.

 

And yes, there was hate, and fear too

 

I was forced to walk through the dark valley of death

My heart broken open, my mind in chaos, my soul aching

And Love led me

To a place where I could sit and look into still waters

And think, and feel

And see myself reflected back

 

I was changed

And emerged my heart bigger

Filled with compassion for those who were lost

But filled with lament too

For what we had done to help cause this

And even more lament for how we responded

For the damage we inflicted

 

I kept thinking about the cross, and the disciples

That was their moment of terror

When awful people brutally killed someone they loved

 

I am sure they were not just sad

But that they held in their hearts

A deep hate for those perpetrators

Those men who had driven those nails

And lift that cross into place

Who had mocked and pierced

 

I kept thinking about the cross

And the fact that the disciples did not keep returning there

They did not hang on to the cross in a negative way

They moved on

 

To the garden

They connected with a risen Lord

Who had already forgiven

And they (I think) forgave

 

The disciples were made better by the cross

Not worse

They were made more loving

More giving

More forgiving

More inclusive

 

They welcomed those very people

Them

Those Romans

Into the circle of love

 

I would like to think 9/11 made us better

But I wonder

 

As I see us nurture enmity

And see others as threatens

And listen to some demonize immigrants

As I watch us populate the world with military bases

And spend obscene amounts on the implements of war

 

And as is see us, every year, rip the scab off the deep wound

That was so terrible 

Feeling the pain, but not learning or remembering the lessons

 

The early church transformed the cross

Into something that brought healing and hope

There is something to be learned there

On this day

 

 

 

Damn Lies

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“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”                  Fyodor Dostoevsky

 

If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.

          Anon (not Hitler as often claimed)

 

God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth

The truth will set you free

          Jesus

 

The Truth Will Set You Free, But First It Will Piss You Off!

          Gloria Steinem

_______________________________________________________________

 

It’s the lies, people

It is the lies

 

They come at us like driven rain

pelting us until heads down

we scurry for cover

 

and huddle in apathy

or stand helpless and cynical in resignation

or, perhaps

 

seek to resist

 

there are so many

the election was stolen

immigrants are overrunning our country

the liberals are communists

the conservatives are fascists

food costs have risen 60%, 70%

they are coming for your guns

 

they fill our minds like confetti

until soon we are confused

and overwhelmed

and can no longer distinguish the truth

around us

an no longer find the truth within us

 

and then we are lost

we trust no one, not even ourselves

we stop believing in anything

or we start believing everything

 

and we lose respect

for scientists, and scholars

teachers and leaders

everyone

even ourselves

 

but the great loss is love

we cannot open our hearts to the world

to those around us

we cannot love our enemies

or do acts of kindness to “the other”

 

when we can trust nothing

when we can trust no one

 

All we are left with is fear

and with fear comes anger

and with anger violence

 

personified

in a shooter blasting his (or her) way through a mall

or a school

in a politician obscuring, twisting, manipulating

 

we need truth

so let us start with one truth

God is love

And with another truth

All creation is an expression of that love

And with yet another

All human creatures are sacred children

Endowed with inalienable worth

 

there are such things as facts

the end does not justify the means

hate never, ultimately, wins

climate change is real

guns kill

 

and then there is this truth

 

If we love all that is Sacred

We learn to love ourselves

And can even love others

 

The truth is out there

we can see it, from time to time

in the eyes of a child

in the flight of a bird

in the sweet caress of the wind

 

when we seek it

insist upon it

embrace it

 

our souls are open

and we can worship

and we can love

the truth will indeed, set us free

Make things better

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"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader."

          John Quincy Adams  

 

When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” 6 So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly….All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.”

 

But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.”

          The Gospel of Luke

__________________________________

 

Jesus changed people.

I am not talking about how he healed people

Or fed them

Doing for them what they could not do for themselves

 

I am talking about how he made them

Better

Peter, James, John, and all the disciples

Zaccheus

Nicodemus

The woman at the well

 

The stories are incomplete

Fragmentary

But we see the seeds of change planted

And sometimes bloom

 

I love Zaccheus

That man so little in so many ways

Suddenly becoming big

Moving from greed to repentance to restoration

Even generosity

 

I am reminded of the controversy

Around Angel Reese and Caitlan Clark

They are both outstanding in their own way

 

But what Caitlan seems to do that makes her amazing

Is make everyone around her better

 

In a small way reminding us

Of how Jesus works

 

I am not suggesting a shallow analogy here

Helping another person make more baskets

Or a team garners more wins

Is not the same as helping another

Overcome their personal demons

Or ushering in the kingdom of God

 

It is not that simple or simplistic

 

But I can’t help but think of Jesus and his disciples

Gathered in the Upper Room

Defeat looming

And of Jesus saying, “All right my righteous dudes (and dudettes?

Hers the plan”

 

I gift you, and you gift others

I forgive you and you forgive others

I empower you, you empower others

I protect you, and you protect others

I love you and you love others

 

Capisce?

 

In the Bible the One does a lot of stuff for the people of Israel

God frees them from slavery

Gives them manna

Even, we are told, gives them a land

 

A land dripping, nay flowing

 with milk and honey

 

but even in that story of conquest

from a time when tribes battled and lands changed hands

constantly

 

there was something more

 

“When you come to the land

when you no longer are warriors, but are farmers

you are to treat aliens and strangers

as neighbors”

 

The One blessed the people

So they could be a blessing

 

No, it is not all clean

No, it doesn’t always work

Yes, we often fail to learn the lessons

And fall into attitudes and behaviors that

Are not very Jesus

 

But when we connect with God

We get better

And we become people who make others

Better

And make their lives

Better

And make the world

Better

 

Which is another way of saying

When we love God

We learn to love others

And ourselves too

Called to unbelief

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Sometimes God calls a person to unbelief in order that faith may take new forms. 

          Christian Wiman, My Bright Abyss 

 

The truth is we are all on a wilderness journey out of some form of slavery.

          Brian McLaren

 

How will I know when I find what I seek?

          Christine Valters Paintner

_______________________________________

 

Today is a day for wandering and wonder

I am always a little bit homeless

Unsettled

 

I am always a little bit homesick

Looking for that place to settle

For the promised land

Full of milk and honey

 

That place of peace

Of certainty and belonging

 

I am not complaining mind you

Or perhaps maybe I am

 

But I do not want to die

The same creature as the one who started

This journey through the wilderness

This tortured, twisted, thirsty

Exodus

 

Life and faith are all about

Evolving

Changing

Growing

 

It’s a risky process

Fraught with mountains

and rivers

and the occasional abyss

 

those moments of scaling the cliffs

and those terrifying times

when I slip and slide into the primordial ooze

 

sometimes I want to go back

to comfort

to old ways

I want to wander paths well-known

Imprinted on the earth of my soul

So deeply

 

But there is danger there too

In those deeply worn ruts

That keep returning me

To the same place

 

To the slavery of old beliefs

And old ways

And old mistakes

 

Today is a day for wandering and wondering

Learning and growing

For picking up a few shards of wisdom

And for throwing a few away

 

Like dry twigs

Into the fire

 

The ancient lands that stretch out

Behind me

Are not all wilderness

There are places here and there

Where water sprang up

And manna fell

 

But those places are not for sojourning

They are for momentary rests

Along the way

 

Along the road I make by walking

Not very Jesus

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[A] strong Christology begins by redefining strength itself in light of Christ’s strength-through-weakness, gaining-through-losing, rising-through-descending.

          Brian McLaren

_____________________________________

 

Christianity, as  it has evolved

is not very Jesus

 

We have ended up with a faith

that is about dominating

conquering

controlling

 

We have created a God

who is about dominating

conquering

controlling

 

In the pages of the Bible

we stumble through so many stories

where people

earnest

seeking

sincere

 

understand God in this way

a God who creates not just awe

but fear

 

A God, who, people stray

makes bad things happen

A God who casts people out of Eden

floods the earth

destroys cities

and turns someone into a pillar of salt

 

A God who kills the first born

and drowns the adversary in the sea.

 

And yet

over and over again people got glimpses

of something different

of a God who redeems and restores

who forgives

who brings human kind back to the Garden

 

And then Jesus came

a peasant child

born in a stable

a man who experienced all the miseries of humankind

who took on all the pain. despair and grief

who took on death

 

and somehow

transformed it all

revealing the way of

“…strength-through-weakness, gaining-through-losing,

rising-through-descending.”

 

And then Jesus came and gave us a different understanding of God

which all too quickly forgot

and soon ignored

creating a faith, and then a “culture”

of domination and  exploitation

and even violence

 

a culture of supremacy

 

A faith that is all about power

and control

and yes

plunder

 

In Christ’s name

conquistadors, and pioneers

and missionaries

dominated, exploited and destroyed

 

and now

in Christ’s name

many still embrace the way of domination

exploitation

and destruction of “the other”

 

We have embraced a concept of Christ

that ignores Jesus

 

and so

wars rage, and people starve

and children die

and the planet burns

 

and we who claim Jesus

are all too often complicit

 

and it doesn’t work

it doesn’t make it “on earth as it is in heaven”

the peaceable kingdom has been logged

the animals are threatened with extinction

and hate and strife abound

 

There is a reason Jesus said “the meek shall inherit the earth”

for it is only through meekness, which is not weakness

it is only through humility

and the embracing of that

strength-through-weakness,

gaining-through-losing,

rising-through-descending

way

 

that we will find peace, and hope

and joy and love

 

I suspect we will always get it a little wrong

we have from the start

but if we are humble

and open to God’s love

(and presence and guidance)

perhaps

 

there will be glimpses of glory

and we will continue

to stumble our way

toward a greater understanding

of the fact

that God is love

and that love, ultimately, wins

 

 

Our Hope

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Whether or not Christianity, in an alienated, divided, and oppressive society, itself becomes alienated, divided, and an accomplice of oppression is ultimately decided only by whether the crucified Christ is a stranger to it or the Lord who determines the form of its existence

          Jurgen Moltmann

___________________________________

 

it is so much more comfortable

to think of Christus Victor

the overcomer

the risen one

 

Christ the King is so much more appealing

to our sensibilities

and our love of domination

 

then Christ the Beaten

Christ the Crucified one

 

we love to jump from Palm Sunday

to Easter

 

ignoring the dark and ignominious journey

in between

through betrayal

and tears an fears

and oppression

and death

 

We see Christ risen, glowing

not Jesus bleeding

Christ on a throne

not Jesus in the tomb

 

Christ becomes the ruler

winning

judging

and worse, becomes “ours”

 

seen and embraced from the swampy ground

of ego-consciousness

where the center of gravity is

the self

me as a separate individual

 

distinct from you

separated and alienated

by fear and need

wanting to win

perhaps to dominate and oppress

 

and recruiting Jesus as our ally

 

Who aligns with a guy on a cross?

that loser

foolish enough to suffer and die

 

The Christ of dominion separates

and feeds the fragmentation

leaving us seeing ourselves as distinct

and in competition

and leaving the world shattered and in pieces

 

“My God is bigger than your God!”

“My faith more sincere than yours..”

“I am taller, handsomer (or hotter)

smarter and richer”

“My crowds are bigger”

“I am loved and blessed by God, you aren’t”

(we are not, some believe, all God’s children)

 

But the crucified Christ

the one who empties himself

and embraces humility

 

that Christ draws us

to the foot of the cross

where the drops of seat and blood

and bitter wine

rain down

 

Baptizing us

in the way of truth and compassion

making us part of a greater whole

 

changing us from those who

alienate, divide, and are accomplices of oppression

to those who reconcile, unite

and strive against oppression

 

But it’s not Christ with a gun

It is not body builder Jesus

Not Christ draped in a flag

who is our hope

 

Its Christ on the cross.

One Wild Hunger

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… it’s not such a wonder that when

we open the gate to all that is fierce

 

and fearful inside us,

when we hold our hands like begging bowls,

our hearts like candles,

 

the wolf within will want

to lay its soft head

upon our laps and we see

there is no more wolf and me

 

just one wild love,

one wild hunger.

          Christine Valter Paintner

_________________________________

 

our souls

(our deep inner self)

are full of hungry ghosts

and terrible wolves

and slouching foul beasts

 

and we for our part

shut down

part of who we are

that dreadful fearsome part

we dread

 

suppressing

denying

pretending

 

hoping we can keep the chaos contained

the fierceness tamed

 

and so we are fragmented

partial people

not whole

always a little bit paranoid

looking over our shoulders to make sure

that we have not broken loose

that the gates have not been breached

 

we move furtively through life

dodging, hiding

unsettled

 

But then, perhaps

hopefully

we find ourselves face to face

with ourselves

 

and if we dare welcome

audaciously embrace

those parts of us from which we have been alienated

 

we find ourselves becoming whole

healing

becoming

our created-to-be selves

 

we discover

hallelujah

that we are terrible and beautiful

fierce and soft

hopeful and fearful

good and not-so-good

all at the same time

 

But that this mixed up

confused

self

is one wonderful

slightly weird

wild child

 

but a child of God

and we no longer have to hide

ashamed

Certainty

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“Truth and lies, doubt and certainty. I haven't found them to be what I thought they were. I dislike certainty because it feels like truth, but it isn't. And I think I have had some inkling what it is for a whole people to become certain."

 

"And what's that like, then?"

 

"It's like pretending something, and then forgetting you were pretending. It's falling into a dream. If justice is based on certainty, but certainty is not truth, atrocities become possible.”

          Daniel Abraham

 

The opposite of faith isn’t doubt.  The opposite of faith is certainty.  Once we know everything we stop actively being engaged in questions.

          Nadia Bolz-Weber

__________________________________

 

I am sure he is a nice guy

an Irish rancher type from behind the Sagebrush curtain

deeply embedded in the alkali dust, rimrock,

and endless juniper

of Eastern Oregon

 

and he is certain!

so very certain, I am sure, of God

certain that America is Great

or that someone he follows can make it Great Again

and certain that those who are more liberal

are the victims of “heavy propaganda”

 

I am not certain

not about much

I am certain that a certain politician lies

(some things can be proved)

 

But I am not certain that those I support

are always truthful

in fact, if I am certain of anything

it is that they sometimes twist the truth

 

Sometimes I am not certain that God is

or that I understand who God is, or what God is like.

I am not certain, exactly, of what God wants me to do

I am not certain that my beliefs are “right”

Not certain why some things happen

Or how Sacred is involved, or uninvolved

 

I am somewhat certain that God is loving, and kind

forgiving and generous

(thank you Jesus)

 

But I have my doubts about so much

Which is OK!

 

I would rather have doubt than certainty

because doubt is not the opposite of faith

certainty is

 

Certainty makes us blind

The truth may be right in front of us

but we can’t see it because we are certain of something different

 

Certainty twists reality

When see the world, and others, through the lens of certainty

we may well see

wrongly

and we may commit great injustices

 

Certainty stops us from questioning

We don’t question what we believe, what God wants, or doesn’t want

We don’t question whether we are right

 

Thus we get stuck, closed, and hard

And we stop learning, and we stop growing.

 

Which means certainty divides

Yes, a whole people can be united in certainty

but when that happens it gets ugly

there is cruelty

there are atrocities

 

Inquisitions happen, Reichs are created

people get hurt

countries die

 

I hope that I always have doubts about what I believe

That I doubt my version of the truth

my perception that am on the “right” side

am headed the right direction

that I am who I am supposed to be, doing the things I am supposed to do

 

Frederick Buechner once said that doubt is the ants-in-the-pants of faith

 

God, keep me uncertain

keep me questioning

keep me open

keep me humble

keep me accepting of others

 

for I might be wrong

of that I am certain

 

 

Holiness is Wholeness

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...holiness as wholeness, the opposite of fragmentation… the underlying Reality is a continuous Wholeness, a Unity beyond any possibility of division…

 

Both the East and the West have expressed this Wholeness, and the transcendence of time which is one aspect of Wholeness by speaking of the Ultimate as unchangeable…

God’s will does not change.  Once having lighted his troth, God is steadfast in love  God’s love, God’s will, God’s personal selfhood is one Wholeness, unfragmented.

          Beatrice Bruteau

 

Those of steadfast mind you keep in peace, in peace because they trust in you.

          Isaiah 26:3

___________________________________

 

God is one

and not one

there is this thing we call the Trinity

 

we don’t understand it

we can’t totally understand

 

but we can know it

this unity in diversity

 

it’s important

that we can be many

we can be diverse

we can be black, white, tall, short

Greek, Jew, American, Iranian, Venezuelan

Republican, Democrat

 

and still,

participate in a profound unity.

 

Thus we are called

we human creatures who lean toward fragmentation

to practice Wholeness

to take time to stop, and breathe,

to worship and pray, and connect with the One

with Eternity

with the Really Real

 

What is “sin”

what does it look like when we stumble and fall

and fail to realize ourselves as Children of God.

 

It looks like fragmentation

like fragmented souls

fragmented communities

fragmented nations

as scattered and shattered world

 

it looks like hate

and bias

like inequality and inequity

 

it looks like the bonds of love

shredded

 

by words that incite and demean

by anger and violence

by those who will sacrifice everything

for money and power

 

we cannot embrace fragmentation

we cannot follow those

who would divide

 

we must reflect the unity of

the One

 

we need to be Holy

 

_______________________________________

 

We are stardust

We are golden

And we've got to get ourselves

Back to the Garden (Joni Mitchell)

Prayer, the cry of the heart

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“Prayer holds together the shattered fragments of creation.

          Jaques Ellul

 

Christians were never meant to be normal. We’ve always been holy troublemakers, we’ve always been creators of uncertainty, agents of dimension that’s incompatible with the status quo; we do not accept the world as it is, but we insist on the world becoming the way that God wants it to be. And the Kingdom of God is different from the patterns of this world.

          Jacques Ellul

____________________________________

 

Prayer

is

it is the cry of the heart for connection

it is reaching out

in a world of uncertainty

 

in the midst of division and strife

as the bond of affection are torn

to the One who draws all together

in a peaceable kin_dom

 

it is a longing for communion

put into wordless pleas

tendrils of connection

binding us in Love

 

to a God who is relationship personified

unity in diversity

three so united as to be one

division blurred, diminished

destroyed

 

it is the energy of the Sacred

the power of love

being sent to others

 

who ill, or distraught

angry, fearful, alienated, divided

need

love, hope, joy, and peace

 

it is sent out to friends

to strangers

to enemies

 

focused love

drawing together that which has been torn

and shattered

drawing together the scattered

 

it is not command or insistence

it is plea

it is the Spirit speaking for us the words we cannot find

 

it is we frail creatures

joining together to send compassion, concern,

caring and love

to other frail creatures

 

us making waves

us disturbing the certainty of a stolid world

breaking things open

becoming free

creating newness

 

prayer

is

 

 

Look in the eyes

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Do not work for the food that perishes but for the food that endures for eternal life,

          Jesus

 

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles.

          Jesus

 

The soul, fortunately, has an interpreter - often an unconscious but still a faithful interpreter - in the eye.

          Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

____________________________________

 

We are what we consume

if that were true, perhaps I would be a potato

 

But there is deep truth here

beyond carrots and legumes

and the stuff of life

 

Those who follow Christ understand this

darkly perhaps

or not at all

 

eat this bread, drink the cup

feed on Sacred

that you might live

 

what we take in shapes us

if we live in the shallows of empty entertainment

we will be shallow people

 

if we consume hate, or fear, or anger

we will be hateful, fearful, and angry

 

If we are open to love

and allow sacred, and others to love us

we become

loving

 

and what comes in, and what metabolizes in our soul

(our inner self)

eventually comes out

 

we process and then eliminate

what we consume

 

whether it be a burrito or fries

love or grace

 

hate metabolizes into hate and violence

love metabolizes into kindness, compassion, and generosity

 

what is in our hearts

is revealed in our words

in our behaviors

in our eyes

 

We project our inner self

 

And we project our inner self on others.

That’s right.

There’s no objective world “out there.”

Take two people with two different “selves”

shaped by their histories and chosen consumption

and they will see two different worlds

 

the eyes are a window to the soul in more ways than one

It’s like we’re looking out through a window.

What is going on inside us shapes what we see

 

If we are looking for kindness you will find it

everywhere

We are looking for affront, for injury

we will find it, everywhere

 

and you will project your inner self onto those around you

 

I want to have smiling eyes

I want my inner world to be shaped by compassion and love

hope and grace

 

I don’t like to want to be a person

who squints and scowls

who spews hate

and projects on to others

their own thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors

 

and I don’t want my soul to be drawn

in an unholy alliance

with those who do

 

claim my heart oh God

clean my heart oh God

clean the windows of my soul

 

set my soul on fire

with your love

and let the light of that fire

shine

a light in the darkness