"We forfeit three fourths of our lives to be like someone else."
Arthur Schopenhauer
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Who am?
Sometimes I think I know.
I have these images of self
that flit through my mind like
slides in a pojector
images fleeting
almost unseen
but casting a shadow over everything I see, and hear
shaping people
events
circumstances
these scripts determine what I can and can't do
what I feel
how i see the world
By these scripts I live
they are powerful
and sweeping
they are there
these unconscious scripts
lurking in the background
whispering in my ear
at times pumping up my ego
at times feeding rage
depression
anxiety
and they lead me far astray
from my true nature.
they came from so many places
friends, parents
the church
rarely myself
and so I have spent three fourths of my life (or more)
trying to be like someone else
trying to be this
construct
Perhaps it is time to think for myself
to be responsible for my own definition
to leave those scripts behind thatothers have planted in my soul
Because all I will really succeed at
is being me
what do I want to believe about my self?
what scripts to I want to follow?
Better, what scripts are truly mine?
God has scripts for me
planted deep in my body and soul
these scripts reflect my true self
my created to be self
Will this self disappoint me?
Will it disappoint others?
Some how I know that if I find what is really right for me
It will be right for others
This is the task beneath every task
to find that self
God created me to be.
So it leaves me with one
startling question
What do I want to be, when I grow up?
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