Avoidance is a thing

The more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to your fear of being hurt. The one who does most to avoid suffering is, in the end, the one who suffers most.”

                               Thomas Merton, The Seven Storey Mountain

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Avoidance is a thing

As we try to move toward what we value

As we try to take tentative steps toward

Meaning

And love

And other people

Stuff comes up

Ugly stuff

Difficult stuff

Uncomfortable stuff

It might be fear

Or anger

It might be twisted thinking

It might be mental scripts

Those inner rules and commandments

Imposed on us by our parents

Our church

Our party

Our life experiences

I am not enough

I can’t do that

Winning is everything

If am not rich and powerful I am nothing

If I try I will fail

No matter what I do it is not enough

I am not valued

I am not loved

I am not respected

People only value me for what I can do

They don’t really care about me

Chatter, chatter, chatter,

The Bully Brain

Pain comes up

Depression comes up

Anxiety comes up

And when we get uncomfortable?

We go into avoidance mode

We isolate

We drink

We smoke weed

We work our asses off (to prove we are OK, and when you are working too hard you don’t have to deal with your stuff)

We get angry

We hate

We jump on the band wagon of the latest fad

We immerse ourselves in Facebook

You know the drill

And it works!

Sometimes

For a while

And sometimes it doesn’t work

And we feel worse

And we avoid more

And we end up stuck

What we don’t do, is move toward whom we want to be

What we don’t do is move toward those we love

What we don’t do is connect with the Sacred

And let the Sacred empower us

Right now there is a whole lot of avoiding going on

Perhaps it is time to stop avoiding

Perhaps it is time to look in the mirror and really see

What is going on in our heads

Perhaps it is time to take a deep breath

And awaken

To ourselves

And to God

To accept all that we see in that mirror

To accept all the noise in our heads

Not accept it as good

But accept it as present

Accept it as “stuff that comes up” and runs our lives

Accept it

And let it go

And then let God take over

And move us forward

Not in hate and fear

Not with the monkey brain chatter

But in hope, and joy

In peace and love

So that we can do what we want to do

Love the one’s we are with

And become who we were created to be

Sacred Children