Primitive religion is not believed, it is danced!

Arthur Darby Nock

Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
And only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

Elizabeth Browning

Sunday, August 4, 2019

I am Tired

We all grow tired eventually; it happens to everyone. Even the sun, at the close of the year, is no longer a morning person.”
                                                                        Joyce Rachelle

I am tired
I am tired for lots of reasons
Two weeks on the road (the wrong side of the road in Ireland)
Two weeks of fish and chips and cider (hard)

I am tired
After 16 years of working in the pressure cooker of community mental health
13 years as a Executive Director
And now as the Director of a pain program

It is tiring being in the middle of people’s pain!

It is tiring being in the middle of my own pain
I might well be bionic
(although I have had no joint replacements, yet)

12 surgeries later my body is a little beat up!

I am tired
After over 20 years in the pulpits of church
Small, medium, large, and then small again

I am tired because I am getting a little older
Turning 68 in less than a week

I am tired because I don’t know how to say no
Tired because I don’t always sleep well
Tired because I think too much
Feel too much
Care too much

I am tired because I am struggling against
And I feeling like I (and those like me) are losing

My soul shrinks
My heart hurts
When I see 44% of America pick money over people

When I hear people call good evil, and evil good

I am like that plant
Roots thrust deep into thirsty land
Barely alive

Waiting for the rain

I echo the worlds of the Psalmist (63)
Who in a similar moment
“You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.”

But here is the thing
Even though I am tired
And perhaps a bit shriveled and dry

I am not a dead twig
Broken and separated from the source of life

I am a child of God
I am connected
I have the Spirit

And this reality, in which I participate

Isaiah (41) said it well

“The poor and needy search for water,
    but there is none;
    their tongues are parched with thirst.
But I the Lord will answer them;
    I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
18 I will make rivers flow on barren heights,
    and springs within the valleys.
I will turn the desert into pools of water,
    and the parched ground into springs.”

I am tired
But I am also renewed

And so tomorrow I will arise
A greet another day

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