Getting what we deserve

“Are the gods not just?'
'Oh no, child. What would become us us if they were?”
― C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces

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Sometimes I rail against God 

How can you allow this God?

Why have you done this?

I see people lie, and prosper

I see evil unfold, and flourish

and I cannot understand

I look at my own life

at my petty pains

at what I have lost

at the marvelous plans that have come to naught

at the dreams that have faded

I feel my mind swirl

my heart break

I feel fear and anger

and my soul screams

why doesn't God give people what they deserve!?

and then 

deep in my soul

it occurs to me

that I can be very

thankful

that God doesn't do that

but instead

holds me gently and warmly

in grace full hands

and not just me

but all

all creation

yes, even those people

I 

not being God

and not being able to love 

as God loves

see with the eyes

of anger