Its all mixed up

I have never been a fan of casserols

or of salads for the matter

I like my food to stand on its own

As a child i would make sure the elements

were spread across my plate

orderly

and apart

Wow! wait, that egg is touching my bacon!!!

MOM!

It just all seem more tasty

all neat and clean like that

I've never much liked how my feelings

tricky creatures that they are

are so undomesticated and mixed

they are like a badly designed casserol

a little of this, a little of that

all mixed together

A touch of love here, a bit of anger over there

mix in some fear, perhaps a little sadness and guilt

oooh

then garnish the top with some gratitude

or even joy

and that's how I feel about one situation

one person

one event

my mind is littered with feelings

its like a table of leftovers at a church potluck

I wish it were simpler

That my feelings about that person could be all love

nothing else mixed in

that my emotions about that situation could be 

crisp and clearn

that I could neatly order my mind

but its never simple

or so it seems

so it must be time to learn to cope

with all that stuff wandering around in my head

with all the ambivalence and confusion

Tupperware anyone?