The Sanctuary is Me

“I have lived on the lip

of insanity, wanting to know reasons,

knocking on a door. It opens.

I've been knocking from the inside.”

                                                Rumi

When you make the two one

When you make the inner as outer

And the outer as inner – then

Shall you enter the Kingdom

                                                Jesus, Gospel of Thomas

___________________________________________________

Here I am

62 years old

So far life has been a long slog

waist deep through ooze and slime

usually of my own making

I have been well blessed

with a good brain

quick wit

creativity

and yes, even compassionate

although introverted compassion can be hard to sese

I have had success

and done some good things

in amazing places

so much has gone right

and I believe that the Sacred One

has been with me each step of the way

sometimes noticed, and sometimes ignored

and yet I still at times

feel waist deep in the bog

no “hinds feet on high places” for me

whats the deal?

the deal is that I thought, for so long

that the answers were “out there”

I even though God was “out there”

Somewhere

big, amazing, and pretty much inaccessible

at least to me

I wore, and sometimes wear

the title of “Reverend” like a rash

feeling very much unlike the amazing men and women

I see being Christ in the world

I have spent my life comparing

and striving

struggling

at times medicating

and now I know

that the kingdom is within

I am the sacred place

where the sacred one dwells

when I go inside

not outside

God is there

God’s presence is real

and life shifts

I have knocked on the door

as my Sunday School teachers taught for years

as the picture on the wall in my little home church illustrated (you all know what I mean?)

I have knocked and knocked

and now when the door opens

I realize that the Sacred has been here all the time

all the time

and when it is real

when the presence is felt

all becomes new

the mountain more amazing

the sun brighter

people more wonderful

that outer world I have so prized is transformed

to find joy in the outer world

and peace in the outer world

and love in the outer world

I have to find it first inside

In that sanctuary that is me

where God dwells.

Peace, Stephen