Primitive religion is not believed, it is danced!

Arthur Darby Nock

Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
And only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

Elizabeth Browning

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The Suffering Gap

Thinking is a dangerous thing
And as I wander down the road
Assailed by the beauty of your creation Lord,
My thoughts besiege me
And I find myself in a place of sorrows
In that suffering gap
between what is
and what I want to be

Oh I am not talking about possessions Lord
it goes far deeper than that

There is so much I want to be true
about me
about my life
I want to be generous and not greedy
I want to be kind and not indifferent
I want to be attentive and not scattered
I want to be disciplined not impulsive
I want to be attentive and not scattered
I want
I want
And as I wander 
this profound sense is there
that I can’t do this
I can’t make it through the next day
I can’t deal with the gap of suffering
Between what I want, and what I have
between who I want to be
and who I am

I know I should believe
I a minister, of sorts
Certainly a flawed and vulnerable sort
I want to believe
But mostly I’m just confused
And maybe Lord
That is just where I am meant to be

With a profound sense that I can’t do this
Can’t make it through the next day
next hour
Without you

for in the suffering Gap
I search
I seek
I am open and willing

and in that gap
if find myself
and I find

help me to accept Lord
who I am
all of me
help me to learn Lord
that you are
part of me
no matter what

help me to believe
in myself
in You
in love
Lord I believe
Help my unbelief! (Mark 9:24)

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