Faith Spasms

Until we know that God lives in us

And we see God there

A great poverty

we suffer

                                Rabia

______________________________

neck spasms are an agony

literally

I seem to remember

once

being able to turn my head

and move without

pain

now my body throbs

and my head is foggy

my movements are cautious

my world

is

slow

but this is nothing Lord

compared to faith spasms

so many say to me

“I am struggling

I do not know what to believe

I am told I must believe this

I must believe that

I must accept

Things I cannot accept

And so

I want to believe

But

Frankly

I can’t”

what have we done

with our need for rules and dogma

belonging systems?

with our need to hang on to images

and symbols

to define and capture

that which cannot be captured?

we have forgotten to hang on to the Sacred

we have forgotten that all that really matters

ultimately

eternally

is union

is our actual inner experience

of something

mystical, transcendent

big

bigger

biggest

which we can only call

Beloved