Expectations

“Expectations are resentments under construction.”

― Anne Lamott

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I expect

I expected

I will expect…..

ah the power of those words

to hear them

is enough to freeze one’s bones

to say them to another

is often an act of oppression

to say them to ourselves

is a good way to ruin a day

a week

perhaps even a life

our own

it is not that all expectations are bad

we can expect to be treated with respect

or loved

but expectations are not guarantees

and what we expect does not always come

and sometimes

yes sometimes

 our expectations are unrealistic

sometimes they are traps

what we expect of the Sacred

what we expect of others

our lovers

our children

our friends, employees

what we expect of love

(boy do we get stupid here)

what we expect of life

expectations can become a bog

a mess

of ooze and slime and old decay (thank you C.S. Lewis)

that pulls us down

and sucks all the life out of us

squeezing us until we are wizened

and brittle

unfit for human consumption

perhaps it is better

simple to enjoy the day as it comes

the people as they show up

love, as it flashes momentarily in our loves

God

in the breaking of the dawn

at least that is what I expect