There are times
do you have them too?
when you feel frigging useless
no matter what role I think of this morning
parent (that’s the big one right now)
pastor (always)
director
friend (I feel like I have few if any friends)
person
I feel inadequate
as if my path through life
for 63 years
has led me to a place
where I am pretty much
alone
alienated
or perhaps tolerated
does this sound like a pity party?
yep!
does to me too
but it doesn’t change the way I feel
so this morning
as the sun burns its way into the sky
the question is this
what do I do different today
tomorrow
the next day?
how can I stir the embers of the sacred within me
so that my sacred self
can shine through the
layers
and layers
and layers
of insecurity and questioning
and failure
accumulated honestly over so many years
and bring back
the spark of life and love
that some where
at some time
burned brightly
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