Honest to God

“My belief is that when you're telling the truth, you're close to God. If you say to God, "I am exhausted and depressed beyond words, and I don't like You at all right now, and I recoil from most people who believe in You," that might be the most honest thing you've ever said. If you told me you had said to God, "It is all hopeless, and I don't have a clue if You exist, but I could use a hand," it would almost bring tears to my eyes, tears of pride in you, for the courage it takes to get real-really real. It would make me want to sit next to you at the dinner table.

So prayer is our sometimes real selves trying to communicate with the Real, with Truth, with the Light. It is us reaching out to be heard, hoping to be found by a light and warmth in the world, instead of darkness and cold.

                                                                                Anne Lamott,  Help, Thanks, Wow!

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the book has sat on my shelves

a little dusty

and very untouched for so many years

I never liked the book

not that I didn’t find it challenging

it was more than a bit rebellious

for its time

out of its pages came, clearly stated for perhaps the first time

at least in English

situational ethics

and the concept that perhaps we need a new God

or at least a new image of God

the little tome had its merits

but it was not a book that was going to make it through

4 or 5 moves and the obligatory book purging that accompanies such moves

except for one thing

its title

Honest to God

I like looking up there, as I walk by my book case

and being reminded each day

that my connection to the sacred is not going to mean a thing

if I am not honest to God

if it is not my real self

connecting with and communicating with the Real

is not a connection that is ultimately open, and real

and thus not a connection that is powerful

and life changing

the less honest I am with God

the more barriers I have put up,

and the less the sacred can become

a part of the fabric

that is the day to day

me

so thank you John A T Robinson

and thank your Anne Lamott

for reminding me

that when it comes to my

connection with

“the ground of all being”

“the Sacred”

“God”

I just gotta be me