Old Faith

The older I get the more deeply I believe,

but the less beliefs I have

                                                Bishop J S Spong

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when I was young I knew it all

I was amazing, with my deep theological insights

and my keen grasp of the world

and then I got a little older

and a little wiser

and in wisdom I realized that I knew less than I thought I did

and now I am older still

and I look at the world in confused amazement

I don’t get why young men die in car wrecks

I don’t understand how, if the Sacred exists, young mothers can die of cancer

and leave 6 year old children behind (Rest  in  Peace Joy Lambert)

I can’t figure out why Israeli and Palestinian children have to die

or why religions that talk so much about love

aren’t loving

I don’t understand why people can talk so eloquently about life being sacred

and unborn children needing to be protected

and then turn around and cut services for children already born

the inability of America as a whole

to see its own sins

and clothe itself with blind patriotism

stuns me

there is so much

that confused and bewilders

I have reached the place where the Sacred is shrouded in mystery

rather than etched in certainty. 

I have reached the place where most answers seem inadequate

and black and white has turned to grey

and yet

there is power in the Presence

and belief grows

without at times

understanding

or

certainty

but it is now a faith that doesn’t need formulas

or talking points

it is a faith that is simply and deeply woven

into the fabric

of my story

and my life

and just

is