Right and Wrong

Feeling right can feel good; we can be completely sure of how right we are and have a lot of people agreeing with us about how right we are.  But suppose someone does not agree with us?  Then what happens?  Do we find ourselves getting angry and aggressive?  This is what wars are made of… feeling that we have to be right…

                                                                                                     Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart  p. 83

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I am right

You are wrong

If I can be right

And I can make you wrong

Then I can place my feet on the ground and stand

Certain and strong

But if I know that it is not that simple

And try to hang out in that space of uncertainty

I might be right

But I might be wrong

Then I have no to stand

That is damn uncomfortable

But that uncertainty is a gift

Which allows my heart and mind to stay open

It allows me to find the room to listen

And seek to understand

It makes it so that I do not have to attack and blame

It creates the possibility for compassionate communication

And kind and loving action

Over this last year I have too often

Sought the security of being right

And it has made me, from time to time

More times than I care to admit

Closed

Aggressive

Unkind

I am seeking

And this is a tough time to do it

But I am seeking to find

That soft spot in my soul

Which does not have to be right

Which does not blame

(either myself or others)

And which is the starting place

For kindness

I need to be kind to myself

On not hang on so tightly to the need to be right

I need to be kind to others

And realize that I do not need to make them wrong

To protect myself

I need to let my pain touch my heart

I need to let their pain touch my heart

Unjudged

And let it turn into compassion