God, and Us

Hafiz says

My Beloved (GOD) says "my name is am not complete without yours"

Jesus says

The shepherd will leave the 99 and go and search for the 1 until that 1 lost sheep is found

For God, no one is expendable. 

God’s love is that extravagant, that amazing.

This morning as I fed the horses I was up to my knees in mud

it is amazingly warm for this time of year

and raining

and the pasture right now is nothing but mud

and one has to slog through it

it pulls and drags one down

that muck

often life feels like I am slogging through the muck

other people's stuff

my stuff

it all sucks at me

pulls at me

tires me

and I get caught up

in taking the next step

doing the next thing

and I forget

God

and that amazing love

I forget that God loves me so much

that He/She does not feel complete without me

without that sense that I am connected

And I forget that God will go to any length

to find me

and re-connect!

Wow!

Choice Points

I am currently participating in an "online retreat" with Wayne Muller

The other day Wayne put forth the following comment:

"Throughout our lives, we make only one choice.  We essentially do only one thing, again and again, year after year. It is how we live our days, how we shape our lives.  The choice is this: What is the next right thing for us to do?  Where, in this moment, shall we choose to place our time and attention? Do we stay or move, speak or keep silent, attend to this person, that task, move in this or that direction?
With each succeeding moment, we make a new choice. After each decision, there is another. And another.

These are not enormous choices, decisions about whether to change careers, get married, or move to a new city. More likely they resemble the choice we make when we have to decide whether or not to attend our son's soccer game this afternoon. We have gone to most games this season, and we are feeling especially tired, may feel a cold coming on, but we don't want to disappoint our child or feel like we are a bad parent. So our choice is whether or not to sit for a few moments and have a cup of tea to think more about it, or jump up, get dressed, and run out the door.

Every choice we make, no matter how small, is the ground where who we are meets what is in the world. And the fruits of that essential relationship — a conversation between our own true wisdom and capacity, and the way the world is emerging, requiring, offering something in this moment — becomes a lifelong practice of deep listening for the next right thing we are required to do. We make the only choice that feels authentic and honest, necessary and true in that moment.

These tiny choice points arise hundreds of times every day; yet each can feel terribly difficult because of our deep yearning to do the right thing."

It occurs to me that we put a lot of effort into those enormous choices.  The ones we believe will shape our lives.  Change the direction of our quest.  But we often don't pay much attention to the many choices we make each day that may we define who we are more than the big choices.  Do I make that call?  Do I do this task or not?  Do I stay that extra 30 minutes at work.  Do i do that note tomorrow or today?

So often the next choice is driven by forces that are not that positive.   A sense of "not enough".  A sense of emptiness, or powerlessness.  We are seeking and striving, instead of walking through each day, with that awareness that we carry in us the Spirit, the presence of God.  I am having to learn to take the time, more often, as I go through my day, do go deeper, and reflect upon my choices.  To attempt to decide whether my choices are the right choices, the choices God wants me to make, that I need to make, to be authentic and honest, true in that moment, or whether the choices as driven by a need to  please, to "be enough".

Will the earth shatter if I make the wrong choice?  No!  God is the great innovator and can work with whatever I offer.  However, too many wrong choices, and I begin to wear down, and erode.  And my authentic self, which I have a hard enough time getting in touch with anyway, begins to retreat anymore.

And then this man, who want so much to be useful and helpful, and do the right thing -  has nothing authentic left to offer. To return to Wayne's words.

"I know one place I get caught: I am trying to convince myself I can handle something, when in truth, some inner knowing, some thermostat has been going off, giving me clear, repeated signals that it is time for me to rest, to pull back, to stop, at least for now, this moment, this day.

It is the instant I choose instead to push on, past that moment of “right-stopping,” that all my kindness becomes dishonest, my comforting presence a lie, a false promise. In that instant, I pretend to offer something – whatever it is - that I am not honestly able, in that moment, to provide.

I wonder how many of us know this moment?

What happens when we push through, cross over, or hurtle past any authentic capacity for honest kindness, striving to appear as if we have not really run out of genuine, mindful presence or companionship?

What, then, are we truly offering?"

Today will be a day of many choice points my friends
As reach the many choice points that will come your way.... go deeper
Listen to your own heart, and listen to the Spirit

go through your day one choice at a time
follow gently the breadcrumbs of God
and it will be OK

Blessings!

All you do is Sacred

Now is the time for the world to know that every thought an action is sacred

This is the time for you to deeply compute the impossibility that there is anything but Grace

Now is the season to know.... that everything we do is sacred     

                                                                    Hafiz/Landisky

 

 

It a winter's morning routine

I crawl out of bed

in the dark

get my "feeding" close on

and stumble in the dark,

out toward the barn to feed the kids (aka horses)

 

its the same every morning

just routine

 

but on this morning

a full moon hangs in the sky between the trees

glowing the in a winter sky

a mist creating halo

making it

a emissary of the Sacred

 

pulling me out of my complacency 

helping me realize

that each step I take

each act I make

each word I speak

each look I impart 

 

can be a sacrament of love

can be Grace

 

If I only have the eyes to see

and treat each choice

each moment

each person

as sacred

 

earth is stuffed with God

       

Go far a walk

Sometimes I make life way too difficult

I think

and ponder

and read

I plot and plan and seek to chart my journey to....

well, I am not sure where

I certainly don't get there

Perhaps what I really need to do is go for a walk

get some fresh air

try to smile

perhaps what I really need to do is just

step

right foot

left foot

right foot

breath

just walk through the day

as if I am walking joyfully through the woods

seeing what there is to be seen 

who there is to be seen

Perhaps it is time to just 

look

and listen

and smile

perhaps it is time to play a game with children

and have a cup of coffee with a friend

Perhaps it is time to pet the cat

"and whisper "I love you! I love you! to the whole made world" (Hafiz)

 

perhaps it is time to simply take a walk

and let tenderness

and compassion

pour from my heart

 

perhaps it is time to take a walk!

If Only

 

 "You don't have to act crazy anymore; we all know you are good at that

Now retire my dear, from all that hard work you do

of bringing pain to your sweet eyes and heart."

                                                       Hafiz

Life can be crazy making

Sometimes it piles up

like winter snow

driven by he winds 

of fear

or anger

or even loss

all of the pain and anguish

presses against me

cold an unforgiving

stealing strength

freezing

leaving me shaken

and empty

but I create this winter

of my soul's discontent

I do it to myself

I bring the pain to my heart and eyes

I am good at it

simply by forgetting

the divine presence

that seed of the sacred

that Spirit (with a capital S)

that lies within

and if only remembered

infuses me with sacred life

and joins me to the Divine

 

if only

its not as easy as it sounds :)

 

 

 

All we can do

"Presence is the naked language of union, of being lost and found in the face of the other, or in Jesus,

the very breath of the Other... All you can do is stay connected.  We don't know how to be perfect, but we can stay in union"    . Richard Rohr

"If you remain in me and I remainin in you, you can ask for whatever you want and you're going to get it."   (John 15:7).  Jesus

 

 

It is all so simple

in its magnificent complexity

 

It is all so easy

as the hardest thing 

we ever try do

ah yes

it is confusing God

we want to be good people

better people 

you people

and we try so hard

we learn the rule

we seek to fool

we deny ourselves

we immerse ourselves in goodness

we try

and work

and fail

it doesn't seem to work

we struggle

we feel alone

so very alone

we do what we would not do

and do not do what we would do

worse

we are not who, we are not what we would be

you must look at us lord

and chuckle a little

knowing that we have it so wrong

but finding it amusing that we try so hard

 

perhaps it is only after we have exhausted ourselves

that you gently say

 

"stop it all

stop it all you Martha's

and Stephen's

and (insert your name here)

 

Stop it

and come and just sit with me for a while

and let us find each other

let us be

just be

together

and then, maybe then

you will find that 

for which you have looked

and worked

so hard

Drink of Love, Part Duex

I know how you can get, when you have not had a drink of love.....

                                                                                  Hafiz


Ah
so many wants
more security
more power
more stuff

Black Friday assaults me

with its rank consumerism
telling my soul
I need this toy
that device
that my life is empty without
without

so many needs
for peace and quiet
for hope
for fulfillment

most of all a need to
be
just be a person
who has something inside
something at the core

I don't want to be a cipher
an empty shell
all external
no internal

and so ultimately
there is only one thing I really want
and really need

that drink of love
but it can't be just any love
it must be God's love

that seed of love
that seed of sacred
that God has planted inside me
must come alive

and being alive
warming my heart at my very depths
it must connect with that whole
that is God
Himself/Herself

thus creating a circle of love
a flow of love
into me
through me
out of me

I know how I can get, when I have not had a drink of love.....

I know how it is, when I have....                   

A drink of love

I know how you can get, when you have not had a drink of love.....

                                                                                  Hafiz

Thanksgiving

food

more food

a little wine

football

nephews playing cards

it is a day on which we all get sated

filled with many things

too much in some case

potatoes

turkey

and yet

the most important part of the meal

the most important part of the day

is when we

drink of the cup of love

 

when we celebrate the bond

that is

family

 

without that food

that good food

we die

I am thankful for

Long days

Longer nights

Winds blow

snow falls

It would be easy to

think only of the dark

and cold

and yet

the fire dances

triplet nephews watch TV

cards are played

and pistachios devoured

and yet 

my son's laugh echo's through the house

as his wife rolls her eyes

and sisters share war stories

and yet

the snow blankets the ground 

a carpet of white

cats doze

horses graze

and yet

an email from a friend brings a smile

and a picture of my granddaughter tugs at my heart

life is not always easy

or fun

and yet

love lives

and I am thankful

The Wind

I hate the wind

last night it blew

roaring through the trees

torturing and bending them

pushing them almost to the breaking point

then suddenly releasing them

allowing them exhausted to stagger to their feet

shrieking around sharp corners

like a lament from hell

an invisible power in the dark

it swirled the world into chaos

lifting

tossing

tearing

the woods this morning were different

trash can's missing and scattered

a carpet of branching lining the ground

trees newly stripped of leaves

and still the wind blows

motion

power 

even destruction

and yet

a good wind

cleans as well as litters

it stirs and moves

driving away stale smoke

and stagnation

 

the wind is fresh

it makes nature dance

 

much like the Spirit

when it hits our souls

 

sometimes we would inhibit it

try to control it

but that only makes this worse

better to let it roar and shreek

better to let it toss our inner worlds into chaos

 

and clear out our souls

and make them dance.

A Circle of Love, A Whirldwind of Grace

There God stood

Gently holding

in an open palm

something that seemed to be greatly treasured

it wasn't much

and yet it was held tenderly

God leaned

and breathed

and life flowed

it glowed

a spark of life

and then mysteriously

it glowed in me

a tiny piece of the divine

burned hot in my soul

and God

"bless God's heart"

embraced me

and that tiny spark

glowed hotter

and grew

and love swirled

and as love flowed from God to me

and from me

or rather from the love that God had planted in me

back to God,

and then back again

a circle of love was created

a whirlwind of grace

opening me up

lifting me up

consuming me

covering me

 

creating 

re-creating - me

the true me

the one I can be

only with God and in God

it was quite a dream...

or was it?

Forgiveness is the cash you need

 

Forgiveness is the cash you need...

to return to divine freedom (Hafiz)

 

 

 

this morning

early light

the ground is

white and pure

with fresh snow

 

hiding the rottting leaves

and frozen Iris's

 

all is fresh and new

 

much like the heart

that has said to God

 

I surrender all

Saturday morning, six o'clock

Saturday morning

Six o'clock

a night full of restless turning

weird dreams

from everything about football

to totally transforming the church

and electric cars

but also thoughts about life

and death

about my friend Duke

whose funeral service I will lead today

about families

and love

 

and God

 

about God on the cross

in Jesus

saying in effect

 

"This is how evil is transformed into good!

I am going to take the worst thing and turn it into the best thing,

so you will never be victimized, destroyed or helpless again!

I am giving you the victory over all death"

 

and I am reminded

even as my coffee cools

and the cat at my feet complains

and I look anxiously towards this day

 

that because God is God

and did what God did

I can know that making my life count is not about moral achievement (thank God)

or attaining some sort of standard

or being enough, by my efforts,

 by trying harder,

 

but that my life counts

just as Duke's life counted

and Scott's life counted

and Dan's life counted

because of Christ

God's perfection abiding in each of us

I know that none of us needs, any longer

 to seek perfection from our own efforts

but only the perfection that comes from faith and is from God

that life is about the mystery

the secret

Christ in us

Connecting with  the wholeness that is God

a mutual indwelling

 

It is about the divine union

love connecting with love

love flowing like the life giving sap in the vine

 

and nothing less

and nothing more

maybe it will be a good Saturday after all

A Prayer for Friday

I'm tired Lord

A long week

A funeral tomorrow

Everything just keeps piling up

If I measure myself

by my own standard of what I should be

I slide into despair

 

I am not enough

I can never be enough

to measure up to the standard 

I have set for myself

 

And yet you Lord

have introduced this thing called grace

 

and your response to me is "of course"

of course you don't measure up

and the harder you try

the worse it will be

 

You say to me

"don't you get it?  Just stop

 breathe

 go inside

 seek to find that divine spark

 that spirit

 let it move

 let it blow

 let it burn like a fire

 let it become real

 bigger

 stronger

 and that small piece of the divine, that Christ in you, that Spirit

 will connect with the Greater Whole

 with me, your God

 

 and as the Spirit rolls

 as the love moves

 as you discover union

 communion with me.......

 

 you will find yourself!"

 

Thank you Lord

I was tired

and frankly

I didn't get it!

The Cross Proves Everything

Crux Probat omnia

The Cross proves everything!

Richard Rohr suggests in one of his books

that the key to making it through our pain

through our struggles to make sense out of life,

is to "gaze upon" (John 19:37) the crucified on with contemplative eyes

not a brief horrified glance

but a long, contemplative 

persistent look

When we do this, he insists, we are always healed at deep levels of pain

The cross is a time of suffering

a mystery
divine and human suffering

but it is a transforming suffering
for it shows a new way forward
for in the suffering is forgiveness
and love
not retribution and hate

in the cross we are forced to see God in the other
God in ourselves,
and God, in a new way

in the cross we see that we need to let the mystery
of what is happening on that cross
become part of our pattern

on the cross a good but not wholly true (or at least revealed) Jesus died
and a greater one rises (Christ)
Jesus died, Christ rises

our problem is us
it is our view of ourselves
it is the not wholly true self, the ego that we hang on to,
but also battle -
we fight to be perfect, and fear that we are total chaos

we cannot live, hanging between

we need to let the self die
let go of the self we keep trying so hard to be
and let God
let God, love, forgive
transform
and lift us up

Flase Self versus True Self

it is an odd thing

I often think that the role of God

is to deal with my

dark side

the side i don't like

that drives me to place I don't like

but it is not the self I don't like

that God want's to deal with

It is not the self i want to deny

it is the self I want to hang on

it is the false self

the self I want to be

strong

competent

interesting

that is the self that must die

that the God self

can emerge

and be

God, this is the kind of friend you are!

This is the kind of Friend you are

Without making me realize my soul's anguished history

you slip into my house at night

and while I am sleeping

you silently carry off all my suffering

and sordid past

in your beautiful hands

                                      Hafiz

God this is the kind of friend you are

we come into life thinking of what we will do for you

and yet

after we untangle ourselves

from the messes of our own making

after we work our way

through the ooze and slime and old decay (Lewis)

of our lives

the scattered refuse

of fear and failure

and come again to the light

into the realm of grace

we realize

that all peace

all we are

It is all You

Chosen by God, Just because

Its been a day Lord

full of ups and down

up with worship with Presbyterians from all over the country

up as new songs strummed the strings of my heart

up as I made new friends

Even someone from Texas

another K name

another German

cool guy!

but also downs

a lost friendship

a look at myself (yes again0

that I didn't like

damn, why do I keep acting in ways

unconsciously

that reveal hidden needs

hidden hungers

hidden hurts and fears?

But I was reminded God

that you have always chosen your people

just because

God chose Israel

Just because

Moses

just because

David 

Just because

Peter

Just because

Paul

Just because

They did not earn or merit election

it was just given....

That is the way God is

that is the way grace is

"God does not love you because you are good, but you are good because God loves you."

"God does not love you because you are good, God loves you because God is good."  (Rohr)

God comes to us

implants the spirit in us

the God in us loves God

which then allows God to come back to us full measure

The "very love with which we think we are loving God is actually the love by which God first loved us"

(Meister Eckhart via Richard Rohr)

Its all about God

What we have to do is receive

which is not that easy

partly because we know we are a mess

truly

but actually knowing we are a mess is a good thing

it has been said that the problem is not sinning, as much as our unwillingness to admit we have sinned

to see our capacity for darkness, evil, dishonesty.

this reminds us it is not about us

it really is 

all about God

and God's love

which we are stuck with!

but we must recieve

that is the key

"To allow yourself to be God's beloved is to be God's beloved

To allow yourself to be chosen is to be chosen.

To allow yourself to be blessed is to be blessed.

It is so hard to accept being accepted, especially from God.  It takes a certain kind of humilty

to surrendering to it, and even more to persist in believing it" (Rohr)

Blessings my friend!

Looking in the Mirror

Sometimes I look in the mirror

and look at a stranger staring back at me

Who is this person

this man

I see reflected back at me?

 

In the perceptions

The words

the responses of others

 

to what I think

and say

and do

 

to what I write

I see things about myself

I did not know or understand

 

Sometimes I see fear

Sometimes I see arrogance

or perhaps not true arrogance

but arrogance as a response to fear

of irrelevance

or inadequacy

 

Somtimes

I see lonliness

or a hunger 

for connection

perhaps love

 

i see need

 

Sometimes that look in the mirror

is like an assault

hammering my heart

leaving me queasy 

unsettled

even sad

 

and I wonder

is this really me

this person I see and don't really like very well

this flawed and twisted image?

 

I am in a place right now

where I feel like I must apologise

 

for all of the things I have said 

and done

all the ways I have been

that when reflected back to me

take me to shame

 

I can say to myself

(all i want)

that I didn't know

that I didn't understand

 

but it doesn't change

the me

that i present to the world

the me that others see

 

I am old enough that I wonder sometimes

if there is really any hope....

and then I remember

God

 

God

whose eyes

reciving me, delighting in me

enjoying me and looking at me

 

remind me

of me

of who  I am

or at least who I can be

as one accepted and love

 

Thank you

 God

Divine Unmerited Generosity

I am sitting in my room in Louisville Kentucky

wondering

Why me?

Why am I having to sit through long days learning about Presbyterian polity!?

Why do i have a cold?

Why am I missing the wonderful snow for this bland sunshine and warmth?

 

But seriously

What is more concerning is what I am reading

Texas politicians who want to leave the Union because he feels the President

is going to cater to "those maggots" who get social security and welfare.

 

which brings me to generosity

have you ever notice how gracious God is?

 

all through the Bible

God is giving, giving, giving

 

Silly God

Giving the people bread

Giving them water

Giving them freedom

Giving them a land

 

Giving them himself (someone called Jesus)

Giving forgiveness

and hope

and love

and grace

 

God is really a bad example!

Seriously!

What ever happened to 

'I built this?"

 

People I have bad news

God is in to helping the people of this world who need help!

 

People I have good news

God is in to forgiving us when we forget that 

and think it is all about us

 

 

The Week After

Traveling this week

to another part of the country (Kentucky)

Almost another part of the world

for the vast reaches of Eastern Oregon

I have gone from a place with magnificent mountains

more cows than people

to Chicago

to Louisville

And along the way I have been listening to a lot of conversations

And guess what people are talking about?

 

Yes, you got it!

The election

 

There is elation and agony

People who are hopeful, and people who believe the apocalypse is near

I have been variously amused, angered, and frustrated

I have listened to half truths, truths (from both sides) and downright untruth

 

Its hard sometimes to know how to respond

Ir is hard sometimes not to respond

 

But what has really hit me is this

We are really stuck!

We are stuck in our ideologies

Stuck in our fears

Stuck in our anger

Even stuck in unreasonable positive expectations

 

We 

are 

stuck..

 

I've been reading a humorous but accurate book on philosophy 

and hit a little section  on "absolute relativity"

 

to quote

 

"Much philosophical error stems from treating relative points of few as thought they were absolute

 The opposite error is possible too.  We may attribute relativity to something that is absolute. ... Keep in mind these thoughts on relativity the next time you send out for Chinese food - or, as the Chinese call it, food."

 

I find that I must remember that my place is realtive

shaped by my faith

shaped by my work

shaped by people I have met along the way

shaped by the people who have taught me and shaped me.

 

So as I feel the urge to gloat

or be angry

or frustrated 

I have to remember... this is my place

That is their place.... I may not be there

but they are... 

and they have gotten to where they are much in the same way I got to where I am...

and I have to respect that!

As I was listening to anger and fear 

and frustration... I had to got to a place where I could remember

that if things had turned out differently

I would be in the same place they are

reacting, probably the same way.....

 

and that leads me to realize that
I don't know it all

I don't undestand it all

I may be wrong

It's all scarily realtive

 

Yes, there are some absolutes

be we even pick our absolute

it is an absolute that we must take care of the poor

for others it is an absolute that... well

there are many options

 

So it comes back to this

What we need right now is to take some deep breaths

To listen, more than we talk

To put ourselves inside the other person's pain and fear

To have compassion

To seek to understand

 

We only succeed as a country

When in humility we realize there is good and bad

on both ends of the spectrum

When we stop demonizing each other

When we stop feeding fear, and start nourishing hope

When we stop grasping and start giving

When we stop hating, and start looking at one another with the eyes of compassion

When we stop hurting and start helping

When we pull together

And realize we are all in this together

Oh, one more thing

To me it also reminds me that we must 

As a nation be more spiritual

not religious, there is more than enough of that

but spiritual

In touch with the sacred

In touch with the God in us

But also aware of the God in that person

Who voted differently from us

 

We need God

We need each other!

Election Day

The polls are open

People are lined up

Expectant and fearful

I have already voted.  You have to love a state that votes by mail 

Yay! Oregon

But on this day I find I am more than a little pensive

I wish I knew which Romney was the real one

I wish Obama wasn't using drones

I wish the arrogance of wealth hadn't kept Romney from putting forth his tax returns

I wish Obama had changed the culture in Washington DC instead of being gobbled up by it

I wish the economy were better

I wish our country wasn't so divided

I wish

And yet there is some value in this pensiveness

In it lies some valuable lessons

One person isn't going to change our country

its all too big

too profound

We judge the person we are against by our fears

And the person we like by our hopes

and in both cases

that person will fall short

We only succeed as a country

When in humility we realize there is good and bad

on both ends of the spectrum

When we stop demonizing each other

When we stop feeding fear, and start nourishing hope

When we stop grasping and start giving

When we stop hating, and start looking at one another with the eyes of compassion

When we stop hurting and start helping

When we pull together

And realize we are all in this together

Oh, one more thing

To me it also reminds me that we must 

As a nation be more spiritual

not religious, there is more than enough of that

but spiritual

In touch with the sacred

In touch with the God in us

But also aware of the God in that person

Who votes differently from us

Who is poor, and yes, is trying to be responsible for his or her own life

But is battered by illness and poverty

Who is struggling with mental illness

Who is disabled

 

We need God

We need each other!

 

___________________________________________________________________

 

Don't surrender your loneliness (or fear) so quickly

Let it cut more deep

Let it ferment and season you as few human

or even divine ingredients can

something missing in my heart tonight has

made my eyes so soft, my voice so tender

my need of God, absolutely clear

                                   Hafiz

The curse of ingratitude

Why is it

we are so ungrateful?

I read a joke the other day

that was funny

in a painful kind of way

As the story grows a grandmother was watching her grandson playing on the beach

A huge wave came in and washed him out to sea.

The grandmother prayed to God.  "Please God, save my only grandson.  I beg of your,

bring him back."

Suddenly another huge wave came

and washed the child back to shore.

The grandmother looked to heaven and said....

"he had a hat!"

We do not have everything

Sometimes it feels like we barely have enough

But most of us have so many blessings!

And yet

and yet

what we notice

what we see,

is what we don't have!

I have

a meaningful job

a nice house

a great car

a beautiful place in which to live

And yet there are days when in my soul I am a major whiner

I am looking at the things I don't have

the things I want

I take the little things that aren't the way I want

and I make them everything

I let them define me

and shape my mood

Perhaps

before I judge those millionaires

and billionaires

and their inability to be satisfied

to realize they have enough

I should look at myself

and realize my own ingratitude

and accept the gifts that I have

the wonderful things I have been given

and live in gratitude

and in gratitude

find peace

and more

find generosity

The Election and Faith

We are now, oh so close to election day.  Long lines stretch into the dark this weekend, as people take advantage of early voting options.  Many people are hoping for the best, and fearing the worst.

And many people are praying

I am powerfully aware of people I respect,

people who have a deep faith

who believe Mr. Romney would be "God's choice" for President

Catholic Bishops and priests

some ministers

are so sure that God would choose Romney

that they endorse him from the pulpit

They point to the abortion issue

and gay marriage

and a handful of other ethical issues

and take their stand

with absolute certainty they hold

Bibles aloft and declare

God would vote Republican

I have other friends 

people I respect,

people who have a deep faith,

who believe Obama would be "God's choice" for President

they point to the many passages in the bible about taking care of the poor

and providing for the "strangers" in our midst

they talk about not judging, and compassion

and feel the policies of the Democrats better match the Biblical mandate

I have to admit, I tend to like those better who seem to want to take care of the poor

and are for generosity and compassion

But......

I have been thinking about certainty

One of the things I have learned about God

is that God is too big

too complex

for me to understand

this is the mystery the Bible talks about

that unknowable side of God

that so often surprises, even shocks us

I can be certain there is a God

I can be certain that God is love

I can be certain that God is all about grace

When it comes to God I can be certain of many things

But when I 

or any one presumes to know fully

religious arrogance ensues

as does rigidity

judgmentalism

hate

and yes, violence

we cannot for a moment presume we know everything, or even most things about God

we can only know some things

those things revealed and inadequately expressed in story and metaphor

and more adequately expressed in  Jesus

we must be honest

and understand that we are stuck between knowing and unknowing

Richard Rohr talks about us having to accept both the mountaintop, the place of certainty, and the desert, the place of wandering. 

“The mountain is about presence, the desert about absence”

“The mountain is about speaking, the desert about silence”

“The mountain is about knowing, the desert about not knowing.”

unless we understand this 

our certitude about what God wants, about our being on "God's side 

will lead to us to use God 

yes, use God

to justify violence, hatred, prejudice and "our" way of doing things

we must live in the middle

between certainty and uncertainty, knowing and un-knowing

and in that middle way, go deep, into our deepest self

through prayer and meditation

and there in that deep place

listen, and receive, and draw forth deeper truths and meanings

and in that place,
find humility

God is not a Republican

Nor is God a Democrat

God is the one we know

at the depths of our being

and the one we can never totally know

God is the One revealed in Jesus

who told us to take care of the strangers

feed the poor

clothe the naked

protect the weak

I might be certain I know what that means about how I should vote

but in humility and uncertainty

I cannot speak for God

as one who lives between knowing and unknowing

I can only pray

and in humility and with uncertainty, vote according to what seem to me
to be the teachings of God

and the prompting of the Spirit

I can only pray

and in humility and uncertainty

treat with respect those whose faith takes them to a different place

I can only pray

and in humility and uncertainty

try not to move into arrogance or anger

try not to name call or belittle

try not to "use God" to justify my own way of thinking

but instead let God be God

and speak for Him/Herself  (I don't have that figured out either, but using both seems safer)

and in humility and uncertainty

hope we listen

and hear

and vote accordingly

Which way should that be?

I'm certain

but then again

I'm not

Blessings my friends

Go with your Biblical conscience

But Vote!

The search is on

In many parts of the world

water is scarce and precious

People sometimes have to walk a great distance, then carry heavy jugs upon their heads.

Because of our wisdom, we will travel far for love.  

All movement is a sign of thirst

Most speaking really says, "I am hungry to know you"

                                                             Hafiz

Today I starting thinking

about where

my time

my energy

my focus goes

 

what things draw me

pull me

what makes me

"travel far"

 

what things stir me up?

create movement

in my mind

my heart

my soul?

 

what am I hungry for?

for what am I thirsty?

 

I know what I think

I know what I say

But what does my life say?

 

On what path will I find myself on tomorrow?

 

toward what

toward whom

will I be traveling?

 

will I travel at all

or simply sit in the dust?

 

Its worth thinking about!

 

prayer

I always feel inadequate when it comes to prayer
I know, seems odd coming from a pastor
but seriously

there are those prayers
that are long
flower
full of amazing phrases

and then there my short little offerings

I am sorry, I just can't do it
especially when it comes to public prayer

its not my thing!

its not that I don't pray
but my prayers are....
well....
different

I walk outside in the morning
and see the tamaracks turning golden in the fall air
and I say, "thank you'

I see a person walking down the street
that I know is struggling
and I say "be with them Lord"

I look at my own struggles
and I simply say help

I am a walking prayer
my prayers may be as short as word
and are rarely longer than a sentence

I'd like to think God understands! 

The Suffering Formula

Christopher Germer

in his book on self compassion says that suffering equals the gap between what we have, and what we want.

I thought a lot about that today

I work with a lot of hurting people and I know have to agree

much of the pain I see comes from expectations that are, to put it mildly, unrealistic

I expect people to like me

I expect my mother, who has never been nurturing, to nurture me

I expect to be well of

I expect that my wife (or husband) will always treat me with respect

I am disappointed in life

it is not what I expected!

And I have to admit

it all becomes even more powerful when I look at myself.

I want to be a certain type of leader

i want to be a certain kind of boss

I want to be loved

I want 

I want 

I want

As long as I hang on to my expectations

my ideas about how things should be

even my ideas about God, and how God works

As long as I am attached to

my things

my dreams

my wants

I am usually miserable

discontent

Lord help me let go

of my wants, 

my desires

my expectations

and gratefully accept

moment by moment

the gifts that come my way

I, Thou, We

I do a lot of reading

as most of my friends know

I have shelves of books

some of the new, barely explored

others old friends among whose pages

I have wandered countless times

Sitting there

small, but not insignificant

among heftier tomes

is Martin Buber's little masterpiece

"I and Thou"

Buber's work has been referenced

in at least three other books I have read recently

used different ways

but all still talking about the way

we

through dialogue 

help shape and form and create each other

When the relationship is I - Thou

rather than I - It 

(or in these days it might be even more powerful to think of "I - THEY"

it is a lover - beloved relationship

in which people find not only each other

but in fact, themselves...

your "Thou", helps me discover my "I"

Gone is the functional, calculating 

relationship where affection and value must be earned

and is not just given

One author goes even further

and suggests what would be even better

would be a "we"

where our encounters with others 

leads to kind of a Hegelian sythnesis

which is somehow better, more evolved 

that what was there before

I love that idea

it brings to mind the concept of synergy

where 2 + 2 = 5

or 6 

or more

The idea that two people

coming together creates a reality that is bigger

better

wiser

more loving 

than if they had never come together at all

And yet, we seem to be so stuck

in that "I - It" world

where one must be right

one wrong

where one must lose

one win

Yesterday I sat with a number of people

I also sat with cancer

impending death

Crisis

Anxiety

I sat with frailty 

and heart failure

I sat with addiction

It was a day just to sit

and listen

and try to be a Thou 

so they could be an I
and the kind of I so they
could be a Thou

(confused?  I am)

Mostly it was a day to just 

be with

sometimes mostly in silence

to create a 'we'

a moment of transcendence

a moment 

that was sacred, loving, 

and healing