Five Happy Hops!

“Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring men and women over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines. It is not to lead our neighbor into a corner where there are no alternatives left, but to open a wide spectrum of options for choice and commitment. It is not an educated intimidation with good books, good stories, and good works, but the liberation of fearful hearts so that words can find roots and bear ample fruit….The paradox of hospitality is that it wants to create emptiness, not a fearful emptiness, but a friendly emptiness where strangers can enter and discover themselves as created free….not a subtle invitation to adopt the life style of the host, but the gift of a chance for the guest to find his own.”

                                                                                                     ― Henri J.M. Nouwen

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we have so many opportunities

each day

to practice hospitality

so many moments when we can be the one

who creates a free and friendly space for another

sadly it is that part of us

that most avidly seeks acceptance

which makes it the hardest for us to offer acceptance

it is that fearful

doubtful part of ourselves

that causes us to inflict our beliefs

our agendas on others

but hospitality is perhaps

our one job

as those who would live as Sacred children

I’ve had an interesting year myself

and have spent many moments with my feet

tangled up in ego

but here are some thoughts that come to me

as think about what has helped, and not helped

think of them as the Five Happy Hops to Hospitality!

1.  When people struggle, start with by merely being there with them, in whatever place they find themselves.  Don’t say “you shouldn’t feel that way”.  Don’t tell them to connect with God.  Simply say “I hear you, it must really hurt to be in that place.  I am sorry”.

2.  Count what you have, rather than what you don’t have.  I have 40 or so wonderful souls who show up every Sunday to hear me preach.  Those 40 people count!  A lot.  I need to count them.  Count what is present in your life that is strong and good.  Don’t just focus on what is not. Then you will also be able to focus on the gifts of the other, not just perceived shortcomings!

3.  Give people credit.  Praise others Loudly and Frequently!!  When possible pass the credit on! 

4. Realize you have to let go, to grab hold.  There have been various times in my life when things went bad, and things I thought were good came to an end.  If I had hung on to old successes, or patterns, I would never have gotten to do so many of the wonderful things that have come my way.  Let go!  Grab hold! Then let go again!

5.  Don’t try too hard.  If I weren’t always trying so hard, I would have more time to be with others.  I would have fewer defenses.  Yes, we need to get engaged and do what needs to be done.  But in the end, all we really need to do is be ourselves, be the person we were created to be (our true selves).  Relax into hospitality!

Peace!!