I, Thou, We, Redux

I do a lot of reading

as most of my friends know

I have shelves of books

some of the new, barely explored

others old friends among whose pages

I have wandered countless times

Sitting there

small, but not insignificant

among heftier tomes

is Martin Buber's little masterpiece

"I and Thou"

Buber's work has been referenced

in at least three other books I have read recently

used different ways

but all still talking about the way

we

through dialogue 

help shape and form and create each other

 

Sometimes our relationships are I - It

other people are objects

commodities

most of the time when we are focused on the adjectives

white and black

liberal and conservative

(you know them all)

we are well into this world

and everyone loses

 

 When the relationship is I - Thou

rather than I - It 

(or in these days it might be even more powerful to think of "I - THEY"

it is a lover - beloved relationship

in which people find not only each other

but in fact, themselves...

your "Thou", helps me discover my "I"

Gone is the functional, calculating 

relationship where affection and value must be earned

and is not just given

One author goes even further

and suggests what would be even better

would be a "we"

where the "I" pretty much disappears

where our encounters with others 

leads to kind of a Hegelian sythnesis

which is somehow better, more evolved 

that what was there before

I love that idea

it brings to mind the concept of synergy

where 2 + 2 = 5

or 6 

or more

The idea that two people

coming together creates a reality that is bigger

better

wiser

more loving 

than if they had never come together at all

And yet, we seem to be so stuck

in that "I - It" world

where one must be right

one wrong

where one must lose

one win

Yesterday I sat with a number of people

I also sat with cancer

impending death

Crisis

Anxiety

I sat with frailty 

and heart failure

and addiction

It was a day just to sit

and listen

and try to be a Thou 

so they could be an I
and the kind of I so they
could be a Thou

(confused?  I am)

Mostly it was a day to just 

be with

sometimes mostly in silence

to create a 'we'

a moment of transcendence

a moment 

that was sacred, loving, 

and healing